THE IMAGES

THURSDAY - DECEMBER 23RD 1976
ROSE STREET, GLASGOW : 8.03 pm
Little flakes of snow were already lightly falling in the night air on Rose Street. There was still sporadic traffic activity, mainly cars with the last few late night shoppers taking the short cut home as they slipped from Sauchiehall Street over to Garscube Road. The band of youths stood in anticipation in front of the large building with the big white, arched doors that made it look more like a church rather than a building simply owned by one. A bright series of red, white, and blue strip lights illuminated the half dozen steps to the main door which was wide open in anticipation of the last bits of equipment for the night. It was already gone eight o’clock and the dance kicked off at eight thirty.
When the van first arrived with them earlier that afternoon, the streetlights were already turning from a warm up red to an intermediate yellow glow as the sky fell into a chilly twilight - and now the dark night air was aglow with the orange sheen of working temperature illumination. The lights cast a host of conflicting tones of shadows on the group who shuffled about as if their sheer presence would make the Sawbones crew arrive any quicker. The foggy breath hung about them like an amorphous cloud as they hopped from foot to foot in the chill night air. The noise of the busy main streets was only a little diluted in this mini oasis behind the Grandfare building. No-one felt any guilt about using their car park for the evening despite signs prohibiting this imposition. As a single voice they cheered when the old white ambulance finally arrived and drove into the little car park facing the building with the open doors.
The four other members of Sawbones slipped out, resplendent in their white jeans, grey shirts and dark braces which matched their boots. They were all of above average to tall in height and fairly well built, making an impressively intimidating bunch for enforcing the security aspect of the evening’s proceedings. They quickly set about the removal of the last boxes of cables, extra records and light cabinets. Like a pack of soldier ants, the waiting youths crossed over and integrated with their colleagues to expedite the task of getting this gear into the Hall.
In less than five minutes the doors were closed and the Sawbones crew were already installing the last extra light cabinets as their DJ started his soundcheck. Bill’s Glasgow band colleagues were nothing if not accomplished at their work, smoothly following a pattern they knew like clockwork and wasting little time on anything unnecessarily. While the four greyshirts worked, the others stood in the centre of the large hall, inspecting the lights and listening to a 500 watt blast of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Black Dog’ hitting them so strongly they felt they were being punched every time Bonham’s kick drum thudded.
Macklin wore an Edwardian, three quarter length, tailored jacket, black satin trousers and highly polished Cuban heels that he stood tapping out the beat against the floor with. Dancing about like a drug addled madman, Stoker had a khaki army shirt, covered in anti-war badges, over a white vest, old 1960’s straight legged Levis and dark police boots. It still wasn’t loud enough for him!
Mhic was in a pale blue early 60’s type suit, a black button down shirt with black shoes and standing rigidly still, Mhic hated Led Zeppelin and the clearer the sound became the more his hate grew.
Standing three quarters of the way to the back of the hall, Bill stood waving to his colleague, touching his ears alternately and pointing up or down as his DJ band buddy went through the EQ steps. Bill Rosser was elegantly dressed in dark trousers, blue Fred Perry sports top and brogue dress shoes, electing for his own look rather than the grey braced uniform he’d always wear when the Sawbones were gigging,
Walking here and there to hear the sound and consistently looking at the stacks of flashing multi coloured lights, Harris concentrated on finding any flaw before the doors were open. He wore sharply pressed black parallels, a white, wing collar shirt with thin black tie and a tight black waistcoat with silver chain, his steel tipped, low cut, black Italian shoes clicking inaudibly in the noise storm, a tiny diamond cut, gold sleeper, ear-ring twinkling from the flashing lights in his left ear.
Ambling to the huge bass bins, Stevie drifted in front of them and paused. He wore a long sleeved black T-shirt with a large white target on the front, dark baggy jeans and neatly buckled boots. For a while he stood nodding on the left and then moved over to the right side giving Stan the thumbs up. The large youth nodded back and shifted to the sides to see if anything had changed in the small bar in the past five minutes - it hadn’t. Stan wore an impressive dark suit, high collared white shirt and dark tie, finished off with the heavy shoes he liked - it was a good look for him because it made him look pretty human and convincingly mature.
Harris smiled and nodded as he walked to the stairway leading to the upper balcony with a host of tables and chairs for people to relax or watch what was going on beneath. It all looked good from up there, the mass of equipment and speakers, seating, the little Coke bars - nothing seemed to have been missed, all the technical requirements, sound, light, cabling, bars, bins and doors had been dealt with as Led Zeppelin’s ‘Kashmir’ hammered the transformed hall.
Looking down Harris could see Sto rolling on the floor as Dave stood impassively watching Mhic jump up and down. Bill ran his finger across his throat to the DJ and the sound suddenly stopped.
“..cking Led Zeppelin, pleeease! No more fu…” Mhic was screaming very loudly. “Oh, it’s stopped now. Thank fuck, even you can get too much of that good a thing, Rosser!”
Bill nodded and flicked a middle finger up at him in considered response.
“Right, chaps!” Harris shouted from above them. “That’s nearly eight twenty - would you like to adjourn up here for a brief drink and a short confab?”
The rest of them looked up to the large bottle of Blue Label Smirnoff Vodka he held aloft in one hand and the clutch of plastic cups in the other. Stoker was already through the doors and halfway up the stairway to vodka heaven, shouting ‘Glug-Glug!’ before anyone else had even moved. By then a mass evacuation ensued as they playfully regressed to infants again racing to get their milk… or vodka as was the case.
Maybe this was going to be as much fun as it was work!

9.03 pm
By nine pm there had already been a substantial number of bodies through the door. Bill, Ronnie and Stevie were kept busy, but not too busy to check on the ‘spare’ factor as it entered. The sound of Rod Stewart and Co’s ‘Stay With Me’ was crystal clear even out at the front door.
“Whoa!” the grey shirted Ronnie nudged Stevie. “Check that out!”
Stevie looked over at the girl who was swaying slightly as she removed her coat. Wearing a small dark top that did no more than criss-cross her ample frame, the girl’s long legs perched on the towering heels that just seemed to let her keep her balance and no more as she pulled the micro-mini down a shade to cover exposing her little white knickers.
“Hello, Bill!” Pam smiled with a toss of her cropped hair. “Do I need a ticket?”
Rosser smiled widely, astounded at how she now looked.
“No! No tickets required in the ‘Family’. In fact, even if they were, we’d have to ‘comp’ you anyway, simply for looking like the finest human to walk through the doors to date.”
Pam grabbed Rosser’s head and planted a long, wet kiss on his lips leaving the taste of Martini on him. His grin was Cheshire-Cat wide. The other two ignored the queue at the door and watched Pam shimmy away, hips pumping and buttocks swinging with every slowly measured pace.
Ronnie and Stevie made some suspect comments about the girl’s underwear to one another as Rosser turned to the waiting bodies.
“Hey, get your minds out the gutter, you pair - there’s work to do here.” Rosser said taking tickets from a small bunch of young looking boys and girls, declining to stop the little bottles of booze poorly hidden in their jackets.
Ronnie laughed as he ushered a pair of pretty, but heavy, girls in.
“Easy for you, Willie-boy, you got up close and tight. She is a Fox - who the fuck is she?”
Stevie laughed as Bill replied. “That is the mysterious Pam - Dave’s girlfriend, who seems to have had a body transplant and a personality makeover. Do I have to say ‘Off Limits’?”
“You don’t have to say it, but… does she have a sister?” Ronnie inquired.
Stevie fell back against the wall moaning and holding his mouth with both hands.
“What’s your problem, dude?” Bill asked with a very puzzled look.
“Major toothache - she was just so sweet!” came the witty reply as they all broke into a head shaking giggle.
The little group of girls who seemed very mature for schoolgirls, stood with tickets in hand wondering what the joke was.
“So many pebbles… “ Rosser chuckled as he fawned over the tallest girl.
Ronnie flashed his ‘I’m a guitarist’ smile and gently pushed them through as he spoke. “… and so little time!”
The three of them laughed like the debauched, ‘on-the-prowl’, deviants they all were at heart.

9.12 pm
Hellen was in a fiery mood tonight, her leather, side-zipped skirt was open to the hip and her figure clinging white top was peeled open to the bottom of her rib cage. Along with her platforms she wore only a necklace, bangle and a couple of rings. Sto could hardly take his eyes off her as she coyly teased him by swinging her legs from side to side, sitting on the table in the small office.
“Having fun yet?” she asked Sto with a strange smile.
“Enjoying the view so far, actually, more than anything.”
“What about this view?” Hellen asked, spreading her legs apart to reveal a brief glimpse of her wild mane of dark pubic hair.
Sto hadn’t even breathed his deep sigh before the vision was gone and Hellen’s thighs snapped shut.
“You know, Sto, if you want to see more you’re going to have to fill me up again.”
He resisted making the obvious joke he wanted to indulge in, and simply topped up the cup from the second bottle of Blue Label that Harris has left in the office for them all.
Hellen knocked it back and threw the cup on the floor, fingers waving to draw Sto closer. Her hands snaked under his shirt and over his vest as she pawed his toned frame. The scent of ‘Babe’ drifted lazily from her skin to add to his sensory intoxication. Her eyes watched his as she dug her nails into his skin making him yelp in irritation and discomfort. There was only amusement in her eyes as she did the same again only harder.
“Get fucked, Helly!” Sto said pushing her back and irresistibly watching as her legs spread open again.
“Maybe not fucked, Sto, not yet anyway… but something, if you can risk my kitty claws!”
There was a depraved elegance to her effort to stand and slowly prowl towards him, fingers raised and moving like talons as Sto laughed and backed away. When he was right against the door of the office she kissed him, with a dazed and lingering clinch that allowed her to get her hands under his white vest and rip her nails down his back making a little blood vent.
This time Sto shouted aloud and grabbed her by the hair before he had time to think about it. Hellen moaned audibly and he transferred his grip to her breasts, pushing the soft, fleecy material aside to grip the plentiful, rounded flesh in his hands. He squeezed her breasts hard and felt the nipples perking up spontaneously as she flashed a dark look in her eyes while she moaned and slipped down to her knees, making him release her.
Sto watched as she unbuttoned his old Levi’s and put her hand into his jeans, seeking the swelling member. With a lack of ceremony she pulled his organ out, watching its expansion develop, mentally appreciating the devastation she had felt its width do to her insides. Hellen opened her mouth and looked up at Sto’s face as he swallowed the vodka and dropped the cup somewhere he didn’t care about.
“Say please!” she commanded.
He smiled and just nodded making her tongue flick out to tease the
end of his thickly erected penis. The groan made her giggle but she simply sat back on her ankles and waited.
“Fucking please! Are you happy now, Hellen?”
“Not as happy as you’re going to be!”
Sto’s gasp was louder than even he expected as Hellen consumed the large, bloated head into her mouth, peeling the foreskin back to let the delicate head press her tongue as she started to go to work on him. She was a proficient talent and in a minute or so Sto was writhing and groaning aloud. Hellen’s ministrations were so consuming that Sto didn’t even hear the feet approaching outside until he felt the pressure of someone trying to open the door and then knocking forcefully.
Hellen stopped and removed the vein bloated member from her mouth, rested back on her heels with a wide grin and ran her hand across her mouth to wipe the residue of his lubrications. Sto looked down with a fierce hunger as the door knocked again.
“Occupied - Fuck off!”
“Retard!” announced the reply and then nothing more.
“I guess it’s time to go back to work?” Hellen asked.
“I’m a good communist, all for the workers.” Sto chuckled.
“I’m going to make you sweat for me later, Richard S… but now, I’m going to make you moan.”
With a skill that had been underused to date, Sto leant against the door and watched her uncomfortably fit the wide organ into her mouth yet again. This dance was a lot more fun than he had expected.

9.28 pm
Not even nine thirty and the dance floor was healthily congested. Stan nodded to Dave, indicating a tall, dark haired girl wearing a black sparkling vest and multi layered black lace skirt that flowed in perpetual motion as a response to the shifting of every millimetre of the underlying body as it wriggled to ‘Fame’. Dave nodded in approval and then tilted his head in surprise as the girl waved to them, to Stan actually!
Macklin was a little taken aback - that girl was pretty fine and Stan wasn’t known for his good taste in women. “Very nice, Stan. What’s the story?”
The big guy smiled a little shyly as he spoke. “Rose! - On Shawfield’s Netball team. When we played their basketball team, she was there… don’t you remember?”
Dave looked at Stan with a puzzled glare. “No, what was I doing then?”
“Probably poncing your hair up as soon as possible after the game!” Stan chuckled.
“I don’t ponce my hair up, Stan!” Macklin said with a cheery grin. “I just take a serious interest in making sure it looks good - two entirely different things.”
They laughed like children when they discover a new joke, still cackling as Rose watched them and shook her head in mock pity.
Stan was still smiling but he was looking far away with a hundred yard stare.
“She is so gorgeous.” he said clearly and sincerely.
Dave looked at him as if seeing something entirely new from Stan’s behaviour. He nudged the big guy. “Ask her to dance or get her a Coke when she stops dancing.”
Stan sighed and cocked his head to the side.
“I wish! She used to go out with Kevin Leslie.”
“Their basketball team’s captain? So what? Listen, Stan, we only tell you that you look like the ‘Elephant Man’… you don’t! You’re more towards the Quasimodo end of the spectrum.”
“Cheers, matey!” Stan replied with a laugh.
Pam waved to Dave, all short skirt, barely there top and a lot of leg
– she looked pretty spectacular. Dave touched Stan’s arm and nodded that he was leaving but not before leaning into Stan’s ear.
“Nothing ventured - nothing gained! I felt the same way as you do when I first met Pam. Go on and good luck, Sport.”
Stan nodded back with a tight grin and a distracted glance flashing from Pam to Rose, comported the lines of his suit and stepped forward a few steps before he suddenly decided to go and check the boys on the front door were okay.

9.37 pm
“Well, you two seem to be all lovey-dovey again, Mr P.” Harris said, nodding over to Mhic at the little group of girls approaching. Mhic raised his eyebrows and smiled back a Lothario grin.
“Michelle and I are having a… good time again.”
“Good, Mhic, because neither of you looked too happy for a while there.”
Mhic opened his mouth to speak as the girls came through the door, all in warm coats, painted faces and exuding a heady mixture of seductive scents. Smiling as they handed their tickets over and wordlessly passing the two doormen, looking back with a little gossipy giggle as they went round to the cloakroom.
Harris was still smiling widely and watching their invisible trail.
“Just glad you two are okay, because Michelle is quite a catch and you’re one ugly motherfucker!”
“Up yours!” Mhic laughed.
“Kidding! Nah, you make a good couple, Mhic. Never let a good thing slip away, Sport.”
Palmer looked over as he pulled on his lapels to straighten his jacket yet again.
“Maybe you should take your own advice, Jonn-boy.” he said nodding to Christene as she waved to them on her way to the loo.
Harris looked a little irritated but said nothing.
“What?” Mhic asked. “Look at her, even in little jeans and a jumper she looks blazing. She likes you, you like her - so what’s the problem?”
“Well, Mhic…”
They were interrupted by a tall, dark suited guy accompanying a pretty girl in a sparkling red dress and matching shoes with a heavy black coat draped over her shoulders.
“Not out burning witches tonight, Harris?” Moira asked as she stood waiting for one of them to remove the tickets from her hand.
“And you’re flying solo without Laurel and Hardy, first time I remember seeing that.”
Her eyes narrowed to slits before she mentally refused to afford him any satisfaction. “They were getting tedious anyway, it was a mercy killing!”
Harris nodded and took one of the tickets from her hand as Mhic snatched the other. “You’re really just a big sentimental softie, aren’t you?” he said in a childish drone.
The guy spoke up. “Hey, mind your manners!”
Harris nodded Moira past and watched as Mhic stood in front of the
tall guy returning the ticket. “You’ve been drinking - be somewhere
else!”
“Move!” the guy threatened in response.
Harris tapped him on the shoulder from behind.
“We’ve asked you nicely once and that’s the only time we’re going to ask. Now, go and take a walk for fifteen minutes and if you appear sober, you’re welcome - other than that, fuck off!”
“I’m not walking about here at this time of night.”
Moira stamped her foot, making her chest rack shimmer in gentle after-shocks.
“Jesus Christ, Harris! We had two drinks, he won’t cause any bother. Stop being such a shit!”
Mhic tilted his head down as he spoke to her. “Nobody who’s boozed up is coming in here, Moira! This isn’t Harris, this is policy. If you want to leave with him - feel free.”
The guy went to move forward and Harris whispered in his ear
making the guy turn to face him. Harris looked at him coldly and nodded seriously.
The guy looked from one side to the other, shrugged and walked back to the door. “Ballocks! Come on, Moira, let’s go to one of the night clubs and leave the kiddies to their party.”
Harris and Palmer nodded in patronising agreement as Moira stood with hands on hips. She may have been a nightmare of a human being but she was truly model-like in appearance.
“I’m staying, Frank. See you sometime!” Moira stated and off she walked round the corner to the cloakroom.
“You cunt!” Frank gasped.
Harris had to concentrate on suppressing the grin he was feeling as he looked at Mhic. “She really is a warm one.”
“Special!” Mhic agreed.
The guy shrugged his jacket back around him and left cursing under his breath as Sto wandered over. They closed the doors again and the sound of Queen’s ‘Now I’m Here’ began to echo around them.
“What are you looking so pleased about?” Mhic asked him.
“Nothing.” Sto said grinning from ear to ear.
“Some people really are led about by their…” Harris said patiently.
“What?” Sto asked. “I just came to see if either of you wanted a break and I get the Spanish Inquisition… by implication, near Marbella, or something.”
Mhic touched Sto’s forehead. “Feverish!” he exclaimed.
“And there’s the fever.” Harris laughed as a very glamorously dressed Hellen drifted up to Sto, clearly a little loaded.
“Well, Jonn, we can’t stand in the path of love can we? We’re fine, Sto. Why don’t you two go and dance, or… something.” Mhic said with a smile before turning to the front door again.
Sto giggled at the same time as Hellen, his head almost bumping Harris’s as he made a little eye signal that requested they didn’t end up falling about drunk. Sto picked it up, nodded, waved and then they shimmered away together, still giggling.
Mhic and Harris shook their heads in amusement and pleasantly greeted the latest arrivals.

9.46 pm
Slade were kindly reminding the packed dance floor the same message they had charted with for some years now as ‘Merry Christmas, Everybody’ tossed out festive cheer, the sound level only diminishing slightly as the figure turned the corner. Dave went into the small toilets near the office they were using, he was damned if he was going to stand pissing with the common populace. He heard the giggling voices before he had even opened the door fully. The stench of dope hit him like a hurricane.
“Fuck’s sake, you lot! It’s not even ten o’clock and you’re getting wasted, what if we get a stack of trouble and have to rely on you three stooges to help? Get a fucking grip!” Dave intoned as he began to relieve himself.
Stevie passed the fat joint to the grinning Ronnie who hoovered it in with every breath he took, without removing it from his mouth at any time.
Sto still had a glow from Hellen’s ghostly presence as he finished off the last of the other joint and dumped it down the toilet.
“Hey, Dave, we really like your girlfriend.” Ronnie chuckled.
Dave’s face was static as they spoke.
“Totally, man! She is a hyper fox, how did you land her again?” Stevie asked.
“By not being a fucking loadie! Jesus, Sto… Stevie’s the puff puff king so we expect him to be bongo’d all the time but when the fuck did you become a victim?” Dave asked, turning from rinsing his hands and ignoring the others.
“Calm down, for fuck’s sake! I just had a quick joint - I’m not one of the Moors Murderers, Sport.” Sto said tilting to his left as he exited the cubicle, the booze and joint plundering through his system.
Dave shook his head in despair. “If Jonn caught you guys, he’d go utterly Radio Rental - at least open the fucking window so some of the evidence disappears. And maybe try and hold off till the end of the night, there’s a lot of bodies here and a total of eleven of us to deal with it. Think ahead for fuck’s sake!”
Ronnie continued smoking as Macklin ranted, oblivious in his own smoky haze replaying Pam’s shifting buttock swing from earlier.
Stevie nodded and tidied the dope doings away before wordlessly offering Dave an already made joint for later. Macklin stared at him, wondering if he was kidding or trying to be facile.
Sto piped up as he hammered the top windows open. “Take it, share it with little Pammy when we’re all done - before the party. She’s looking fine and pretty loose already, after that gear - the sky’s the limit. No lie, I’m not snowing you. Jesus, Dave, it’s not the end of the world to smoke a fucking joint or two!”
Once again Stevie held the fat J up in front of Dave who paused in thought and then snapped it out his hands before he turned to the door again.
“Hey, D!” Ronnie piped up. “Does your girlfriend have a big sister or something? In fact, what’s her mother like?”
Dave pocketed the joint and exited the little toilet, with a look of irritation on his face and the sound of the others’ laughter behind him.

9.58 pm
“So who’s the super-bint in the red dress, Johnny Double? She is quite exquisite!” Stevie said in a slowed down voice, resisting the urge to roll his sleeves up in the heat.
“Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! That’s Moira - she looks pretty great, actually really great, but has a personality that makes Lucrezia Borgia seem like Mother Theresa.”
The laid back youth shrugged and then grinned to Harris. “Danger’s my middle name and I like a challenge - something fiery!”
“Your middle name is Christopher and the greatest challenge you face every day is getting your jeans round the right way! She’s a serious bio-hazard, Stevie.” Harris stated in vain.
The other youth smiled, raising his hand as he walked off to Harris’s right and into the glowing light of Moira. “Pray for me, father… pray for meeeeee!” Stevie said irreverently.
“Don’t get burned, Sport, that cat has real claws.”
Harris was still shaking his head with a wry smile, musing how appropriate it was that ‘The Sweet’ were raving about ‘Action’ when they should really have been advising the potentially masochistic Stevie, not to take any.
“Hi!” the two voices called in unison from his left hand side. There was a brief flash of non - recognition from Harris before he cracked a wide smile. The two girls were seriously eye-catching, both were of medium height and of a similarly captivating build.
The Eurasian girl was very pretty with big dark eyes, a small but full mouth and a gorgeous mane of asymmetrically cropped hair, wearing a black, side slit skirt and a black micromesh shirt that went almost transparent in black light, no tights and high black heels. Her friend had a gorgeously modern haircut, all little flicks and tails cut away from her ears and cropped to sit high on her head. A flimsy white shirt tied at the waist preserved her modesty only because of the discretely placed pockets whilst her tight little jeans with the US star were covered in rips and tears that flashed the milky white skin within.
Harris was sure they were… “Penny! Tina! Glad you could come.” he smiled, hugging Penny and smiling at the ‘Moonglow’ scent she wore. She kissed him on the lips and as she let him go, smiled when Tina pecked him on the cheek twice to irritate him. He laughed and shook his head when Tina giggled and gave him a quick hug, exuding the glamorous scent of ‘Jovan Grassoil’.
“Thanks for the freebies, Harris - you know how much I hate paying to go anywhere.” Tina over dramatised, rolling her eyes.
Penny nodded in agreement. “Thanks, Jonn, it was so kind to put us on the guest list. It’s pretty busy already - is it nearly ten o’clock yet? Are you having fun, you look good.”
Tina agreed. “I hate to admit it, knowing the size of your ego and the depth of your vanity, Harris, but Penny’s right, you do look a little better than usual.”
Harris faked a blush. “If I looked half as good as either of you, I’d be at home staring at myself in the mirror. So how’s things, anything been happening?”
The girls shrugged and shuffled a little before they giggled, exchanged a glance and said in perfect harmony. “Stuff!”
“Well, that’s just, really… ‘neat’, girls! I wish I did… ‘stuff’!” Harris mocked.
“It’s a good sound.” Penny said to a nodding Harris as Tina perused the boys who gazed at them as they walked past in a little hormonal haze. Sometimes the boys walked back and forth a couple of times as if seeking the courage to chat to them.
Harris was about to ask Penny something when the tall guy with a cultured mass of blonde hair walked up to her and smiled as ‘Highfly’ began.
“Hi - I’m Tony, sorry to interrupt, but I wondered if you want to dance?”
With a broad grin Penny nodded, letting him take her by the hand and waltzing off together.
“Well clearly my days of captivating an audience have long gone.” Harris muttered with amusement.
“Oh, there, there, Doodlums! Beauty fades oh so quickly.” Tina said as unsympathetically as she could manage.
As the blonde haired guy led Penny to the dance floor, Harris’s eyes followed. With a tiny, wry smile he was so distracted he didn’t notice Tina staring at him. As the couple disappeared into the wriggling mass Harris suddenly saw the smile on Tina’s face as she was watching him.
“Didn’t think you had a soft side, Harris.” Tina said with a natural giggle of amusement. “You haven’t turned into Mr Nice, have you?”
“Unfortunately, I’m not that nice when you get to know me too well. Remember?” he said wryly.
Tina wasn’t sure what to make of that, a puzzled look on her face - even as she nudged Harris to make him pay attention.
“You were right, Harris. She is fun and I actually quite like her, but she really did need my help on the shopping front.”
“You truly are a Queen of the Superficial, Tina!”
“My! You really are getting kind in your old age, Harris - Thank you.” she chuckled, pecking him on the cheek yet again. “Anyway, don’t get all cloudy eyed and bubbling with warmth… All we’ve done is hang out a little, listen to music, go shopping, swap clothes coz we’re the same size and, naturally, glamorise ourselves up. But mercifully we got rid of the Eliza Doolittle, fashion wreck aspect of her!”
Harris nodded as Penny and the blonde guy appeared rapt, dancing prominently within the dance floor’s human throng. With her newly shorn hair and little platinum blonde streaks at the front, her face was much more defined and appealingly apparent. Her tiny white top barely restrained the motion of her small breasts with every step she took, boys heads looking at the clinging, ripped jeans exposing her skin.
“Hmmm, a bit more ‘My Fair Lady’, now.” Harris said turning away with a smile, bumping Tina with his hips.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah - That’s history now, yesterday’s news, Sherlock! We solved that crime. Go to the next chapter - tell me about him, the tall, dark haired character in the long jacket.” she chattered as she elbowed him to pay some attention.
Harris smiled sympathetically.
“That’s Dave and, sadly, taken with a commitment beyond reason.”
“Damn!” Tina said. “Lucky, Lucky, Lucky.”
“That’s what rock and roll is all about, Baby!”
“You’re all heart, Romeo. So, any suggestions about potential Tina victims since you’ve gone into ‘Jim’ll Fix It’ mode?”
“Would you like me to set you up with someone?” he asked with a mysterious look.
Tina pulled back a shade as if considering it and then emphatically shook her head with enthusiasm, “Maybe another time, Jonn-Jonn! So are most of the old gang here tonight?”
Harris laughed as he watched her gazing round the hall. “Yeah, but avoid Hurricane Moira - I think we upset her by turning her mature friend away earlier… in fact he’s probably feeling a little lonely about now, could be available?”
“Thanks - but, no thanks. I don’t do cast-offs, Darling!” she replied, looking around again to check the solo males.
Before John Miles had faded out MMEB were ‘Blinded By The Light’ at a serious decibel rate.
Harris nudged Tina as he moved away. “Don’t look now but Penny’s friend seems to be bringing a couple of his ‘rugger’ comrades back with him… your worries are over.”
Tina tilted her head back and rested her left hand on her hip. “My, they’re serious beefcake, aren’t they?”
Harris nodded in agreement. “Oh, yeah - so I’m off to leave you both to play with your new toys… just in case it’s me they really fancy! Have fun.”
As he slipped into the milling bodies at the back of the hall he heard Tina’s “I always do, Harris.” slip right into “Hello, I’m Tina - and you boys are.. ?” the little group’s laughter and chatter was quickly swallowed by the music as Harris made his way to the balcony to find Christene.

10.06 pm
The three youths in overly retro clothing were sitting on the stairs to the balcony with a half bottle of vodka between them and a joint passing from eager hand to hand. Bill stopped in front of them staring down.
“Guys - you know the rule, no booze on the premises. If you’re going to do it then at least do it subtly, get buzzed in the loos or something.” he suggested with a shade of festive compassion.
“We’re fine here, go and bug someone else, Granddad.” One of them said as he took another swallow of the near depleted bottle.
Bill smiled and looked down but the youth simply ignored him and swallowed again.
Rosser’s foot kicked the bottle from his hand, hammering his mouth as it did. The other two jumped back as Bill grabbed the stunned boy by the hair.
“Listen, fuck-wit, I was being nice and I don’t like being insulted when I’m being nice. Now you have a simple choice, open your mouth and I’m going to kick your cunt right in, or dump the dope and you can stay. It’s your choice!”
People stopped walking past for fear the altercation might explode at any time. Next, there was a voice from below, coming up the stairs.
“What’s occurring here? Problem, Bill?” Harris asked joining his comrade.
“No problem, these lads just exercised some poor judgement and were deciding whether they wanted to stay or not… weren’t you, lads?”
The boys mutely nodded and mumbled apologies as they shuffled off.
The two well dressed guys watched them slink away, shaking their heads.
“Kids today…” Bill chuckled.
Once again people moved past in a steady stream of bodies going up to or down from the balcony.
“So what’s been happening with you, Bill? Catriona here tonight?” Harris asked.
“Yeah, maybe, not sure yet. But, Jesus, with the amount of Gimp on the go here I feel like a kid in a sweetshop!”
“Sensitive analogy, Droogie.” Harris laughed with some sadness. “Have you seen Christene? Mhic said she was hanging out with Michelle earlier.”
“Not upstairs, mate. Haven’t seen either of them since earlier on. Why? Something up?”
“Nah, not really, just nosing around.”
Bill laughed and nodded. “Did you see Pam tonight? Jesus, what a transformation from Miss Pure to Miss Phewieeeee!”
“Well I did notice she was dressed rather provocatively. Actually, she looked pretty spectacular… and hopefully that’s a sign that she and Davie-boy are happier - coz so far all she’s given him is fucking heartache!”
Bill laughed and nudged him as they went on up to the balcony. “If that’s heartache, she can break mine any time… and I mean any time!”
As they moved through the throng to look down on the busy floor
below, Harris replied, asking Bill, “Have I ever told you that you really are one of a kind?”
“Not recently.” Bill responded casually as he surveyed the vista of flesh below.
“Well… you’re one of a kind, Bill!”
“Thanks!” Bill grinned and ignored the other’s sarcasm.
“Don’t mention it!”

10.17 pm
Dave and Tom-Tom made an imposing buffer at the door blocking the path of the half dozen fifth formers from Glasgow Academy.
“This is the last time I’ll tell you, those aren’t our tickets because I’m the guy who printed them. Either you’ve been conned by someone or you’re trying to con us - and I don’t care which it is. So either you pay the fiver or you take a hike!”
The long haired guy with the big flares chipped up. “Hey I thought it was £3.50?”
Tom-Tom rested his thumbs behind the dark braces. “That’s the ticket price in advance, it’s a fiver at the door… in fact we might be getting up to capacity now. Do you think we should just shut the doors on them?”
The group sulked for a moment and then watched the three girls with very short skirts and long legs slipping into the ladies loos together and the money was out their pockets before the toilet door slammed shut.
Dave smiled while he collected their cash as they moved past in single file.
“Have a good night, men!” Tom-Tom laughed.
With a turn of the key Dave placed the cash in the money box and smiled. “That’s probably drinks all round later!”
“Bingo!”

10.32 pm
In the small office Michelle poured a little more vodka into the plastic cups of Coke as Christene prowled the room. The faded blue jeans she wore looked as if they had been spray painted on, adhering to each and every fold of her lower body. Little clicks were audible from her black stilettos even above the warped distortion of the music as ‘Silver Machine’ drifted into the room.
“Look, Christene, Jonn knows a lot of girls. I know he’s never been a monk but he’s been pretty straight in anything I know about - I mean, he’s not exactly shy to say what’s on his mind, is he?” Michelle asked as she adjusted her deep blue, short Halterneck dress that revealed most of her well sculptured torso. She sat back and waited for her friend to respond as she raised a cup to her lips then placed her fishnet stockinged legs and platform shoes on the table.
“God, it’s so stupid!” Christene sighed, her short red, long sleeved 50’s jumper revealing bare flesh from below her breasts to the waist of the jeans. “That girl, Hellen’s friend, was wearing Harris’s jeans. What am I meant to think?”
Michelle’s perfectly painted face looked troubled as she offered the other cup to her friend. “You wear his black zip-top, did you have to undress him to get that?”
“No! No, I didn’t But if I did he wouldn’t have to be stripped to his underwear to hand it over, would he?”
“Chris, we all know Harris never sports underwear!” Michelle giggled.
“See, that makes it worse!” she replied, a look of irritation disturbing her dark eyes and red painted mouth.
Michelle got up and walked over to Christene, putting her arm round her friend.
“What’s really going on here, Chris?”
“I think I really like him. Not just as a friend any more. Christ, that girl with his jeans is just so pretty and maybe I feel a bit…”
“Jealous?”
Christene nodded reluctantly.
“Look, Chris, you were the one who kept him at arm’s length. Everyone can see he’s got a thing for you but you’ve been pretty, well… distant with him off and on! Jonn’s not big on rejection or failure but he keeps coming back. Christ, we all thought you two were… you know, at it, from the amount of time you spend together.”
“No, very not! I mean, I even felt mad at Suzanne because she was doing her Super-Tart flirt with him on and off all day when we went to Edinburgh - and I know she’d never hurt me like that. I’m being pretty bloody stupid over all this. I don’t know what’s the matter with me.”
Michelle gazed away and then back with a level of conviction.
“I shouldn’t say this, but Mhic mentioned he thinks Harris has a real thing for you. Actually, he used the word ‘smitten’. The only thing stopping either of you is your stupid personalities - you’re both quite similar, maybe too similar for your own good!”
“…maybe.”
“Are you sure it’s just the Jonn thing that’s bugging you?”
“Obviously not, it’s the whole Christmas thing - you know the story! God, why can’t we just get on with moving into nineteen seventy seven, maybe we’ll be cover girls by this time next year.” Christene said with brimming eyes.
“Oh, Chris!” Michelle said as she put her arms round the other girl and held her.
They were still entwined when Mhic entered.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to… is everything okay?” he asked gently.
Christene straightened up and made out as if she were adjusting her perfect blonde hair piled high on her head. “Nothing, Mhic, I’m just being the spirit of ‘I hate Christmas’!”
Mhic smiled and entered the room properly putting an arm round her shoulder.
“Maybe you’re going to have a better year in ‘seventy seven?” he offered.
The burst of laughter from the two pretties puzzled him but they seemed to get the joke - sometimes girls were just impossible to understand!

10.50 pm
Bill nodded to the greyshirt, Andy, as he walked to the front door to give him a break.
“Andy! Ten minutes to go, mate! No-one in after 11 pm, okay? How’s things in there?”
“Loud, packed and fucking hot!”
“Not enough ventilation?” Bill asked rising from the table.
His bandmate rolled his eyes and waited for a second before grinning and nodding as he spoke.
“No, dude! H-O-T! Some of those schoolies are just outrageous - I almost wish I was back in school.”
Rosser laughed and flicked a speck of dust from his trousers as he watched Andy’s grin become a little laugh. “You need to get out more, Andy! Shit, you’re never off the girlies after our gigs - do you ever get enough?”
“Hey, I might be a roughneck sparks but I know class when I smell it. Tom-Tom’s already pulled some ultra-babe. Those cuties are truly Primo, man!”
The other one shook his head with a wide smile radiating his face.
“Anybody in particular or just everything in general?”
“I’m not proud! Any port in a storm - and they all look as if they’ve got really nice ports.”
Bill slapped his pal on the arm and walked away shaking his head and muttering in a clergyman tone “The sins of the flesh, my son… sins of the flesh!”

11.11 pm
Pam was leaning against Jane to stay upright as they gazed down from the balcony. At the back of her mind Jane was a little anxious that Pam would upchuck over her red, crushed velvet, pencil dress. Placing an arm round her friend she continued watching Sto and the wild Hellen dancing like dervishes, wildly enough to make people give them space. Jane sighed and wondered why did she never get the hero in the end?
“Janie, look!” Pam slurred as she pointed down. “That Tina bitch is flashing herself all over Dave.”
“They’re just dancing, Pammy! Dave adores you.”
“He’d better. He’s mine until I say he’s gone. That little slut needs to be sorted out!”
“Whoa, whoa - just calm down!” Jane suggested as she held her loaded school friend by the shoulders.
Pam stopped struggling and hugged Jane, oblivious to her friend’s unrequited passion for Sto.
“Have you seen Peter here tonight?” Pam asked.
Jane mentally rolled her eyes, if it wasn’t one torment with Pam it was another.
“No, not so far.”
“Don’t care, anyway!”
Neither girl had noticed the two tall, pretty boys on their left watching them. When the dark haired one with gleaming teeth spoke it was a surprise.
“Could we have the pleasure?” he asked them with a cultured tone.
Pam and Jane smiled to one another.
“Shall we?” Pam asked her friend.
“Let’s show them how it should be done!” Jane giggled as the boys led them away.

11.25 pm
With a wide grin and his public school, foppish fringe, the tall, good looking youth walked erectly to where Harris and Penny stood. Her face paled and she dug her hands into the pockets of what were once Harris’s jeans and he noticed the sudden change in disposition as the figure came towards them. Gerry had a sharp white multi pocket T-shirt with epaulettes, plain dark blue tie, dark trousers and dark shoes making him look almost as if he were off duty in the military
“Jesus, Jonn, good to see you. What’s been happening? None of the chaps have seen you in months.”
Harris smiled and took Gerry’s offered handshake, ending in a twist of their thumbs as if members of some quasi Masonic chapter.
“Gerry, this is… Lady Penn. P, this is Gerry an old friend of mine from when we were in primary school together.”
“God, the Academy, that’s a long long time ago now, Jonn. Hello, Penn!” the tall youth said brightly, oblivious to her staid response.
“And how’s life treating you, Gerry?” Harris asked, already acquainted with some of the less pleasant aspects of his school friend’s contemporary history from Angeline, his eldest sister.
“Pretty damn fine, Jonn! School is school, obviously, but things are pretty good on the home front… all very clean, if you know what I mean? Anyway, best of all I’m doing a brilliant work placement as part of my Sixth Year Studies in Media. It’s working with this Senior A & R chap from Island Records, it’s excellent and he’s a really great guy.”
Harris resisted the compulsion to look at Penny, instead dramatically jumping back and making Gerry smile as he spoke. “Superb, Gerry! I know music’s always been your thing really. So, how long’s this been going on? Since semester started?”
“Yeah, and runs to Summer but they might actually hire me to do some trivial scouting work right through until the start of Uni… which would be great.”
“Absolutely. Actually if you see Mhic later, he’d be keen on having a chat, not because he’s working for Hall’s Records but he loves Island Records - about twenty percent of what he listens to is on Island.”
Gerry glanced at the distracted Penny as he spoke, noticing the pretty body in her jeans and gossamer blouse, but especially the big eyes behind the little psychedelic glasses.
Harris noted his observations, wondering how many guys would now see the new and improved Penny as ‘fair game’? To him she was just the same except now with a far brighter and shinier bow to let everyone else know who she was.
“Yeah, haven’t seen Mhic in ages. Are he and Michelle still… ?”
“Very!”
“Splendid, are all the chaps here tonight?”
“The entire crew, young man. We are the Management of tonight’s little soiree, so if any of the chaps seem flighty it’s just because of the rota, but see who’s round and we’ll communicate over the festive period?”
Gerry nodded enthusiastically. “That’d be great. As ever, if you want to pop over on Boxing Day you’re most welcome - the family would love to see you, it’s been ages!”
“Thanks, Gerry, and please wish them all the best for Christmas. We’ll catch up before the end of the year.”
“Is that a definite?”
“Categorically!”
“Great!” Gerry enthused as he took a final look at the girl with Harris. “Speak soon, Jonn… and nice to have met you too. Later!”
Penny folded her arms and her captivating little breasts shook as she shifted her weight abruptly onto one leg and turned to Harris. “Do you know that he’s…”
“…the guy you saw with your father? I did guess when you turned white, Penn! Sorry. He’s been a bit messed up, but he’s a pretty decent guy - I’ve known him and especially his family for a lot of years. We’ve had our ups and downs but I didn’t know he was…”
Penny’s face no longer looked as angry as it had before when she interrupted him with a more light-hearted barb than he expected “…batting for the other team?”
Harris laughed as she broke into a little smile and continued. “Well at least he’s attractive and decent, I suppose.”
“Actually, I was going to say I didn’t know he was cheating on his girlfriend!”
Penny’s mouth dropped with surprise. The plot sickened.

11.43 pm
Bill and Stevie were sitting on the balcony guzzling Coke and water to rehydrate as they watched the tall, lace skirted Rose swish past them.
“Tidy type!” Rosser commented, taking a hard glance at the girl.
“Bit fucking tall, man! Take a bit of filling when there’s that much torso.”
They laughed at volume, discernible above the sound of BTO’s ‘You Ain’t Seen Nothin Yet’ and making others sitting close to them gaze round as if to see what was so funny.
“So, have you found anything tasty?” Bill asked.
“Actually, yeah! Dunno if you know her, Moira’s her name. Very up market and expensive to run probably, but what a cutie - a major cut above.”
“Moira?”
“Yeah, Moira!”
“You’d be as well sticking your dick into a meat grinder right now and save yourself the pain later.”
“Really?”
“Breaking news, dude, she’s known as Hurricane Moira - you can tell where she’s been by the trail of shit left behind!”
“But she’s… totally slick!”
“You’ve been warned, Stevie! But you’re as dumb as me so you’re gonna end up going there aren’t you?”
“Well…”
“So, that’s a yes?”
“I did mention the party on Minard Road later…”
“Jesus H - Then that’s a yes.”
“Are you bringing that Catriona chick?”
But before Bill had time to answer he was distracted by the pretty, dark haired girl leaning over the table with pert breasts that shifted very erotically as she moved.
“I’m up here!” she said, talking to Bill. “If my face isn’t as seductive as my breasts then there’s not much point in asking you to dance, is there?” Tina inquired.
Bill smiled widely as he spoke. “Couldn’t agree there, that view looks good from any angle!”
“Well?” she asked with a minxy smile as ‘Tiger Feet’ played as a backdrop.
“I’m yours!” Bill replied taking her hand as he left the grinning Stevie.
“We’ll see…” Tina retorted, leaving the view of her wiggling hips for Stevie to savour. Men were so superficial and facile - but that was why she loved being a flirt!

11.57 pm
Mhic and Harris each held a door open to allow Dave and Pam to exit with ceremony.
“Wish I could piss off early.” Harris moaned good naturedly.
“Totally, but some people have to do the work so others can play.” Mhic replied.
The sound of the Black Hack was discernible despite the volume of ‘More Than A Woman’ in the background as Dave turned round with a twisted face.
“You two will probably be done by one thirty and I did a load of the distribution when you pair were sagging off and enjoying yourselves last week!” Dave whinged.
“Yeah, but at least you have your own H.E.K. to play with, Uncle Dave, and I’m sooo lonely in my nightmare world!” Harris laughed sarcastically.
Pam smiled back, shivering with the cold that had raised her nipples to the point where Mhic and Jonn had to consciously avoid looking at the riveting sight.
“Am I a H.E.K?” Pam asked them and then looked at Dave. “What’s that, Dave?”
“Means you’re… special.” he appeased, glaring back at the others.
“Thanks, boys - we’re off to ‘Haa Humm’ all night. Have a lovely Christmas!”
“And you two, too!” the guys replied in harmony, laughing at their train noise synchronicity.
Dave waved and shook his head as he slipped into the cab following her seductive rump - ‘Home Entertainment Kit’, indeed… well, maybe!
The flakes of the pending Christmas Eve were still falling lightly, leaving a white sheen on the ground as the Taxi drove off to be replaced with another one pulling up.
The guys were about to close the doors when they saw Joanna and Rick exit and wave to them.
“Can we still come in?” Joanna asked.
“Sure!” Harris replied as they repeated their doorman act again.
They were just coming in as Michelle tugged Harris’s shirt sleeve.
“Have you got a minute, Jonn?” the pretty dark haired girl asked.
Harris nodded his greeting to Dave’s sister and her friend before he left, following Michelle’s pretty frame… once again he had to lift his gaze from her bare back, captivating rump and wiggle as he tracked her rear - but sometimes it was hard to see cuties as simply someone else’s girlfriend.
Michelle closed the door to the office and leaned against it, breathing deeply and raising her breasts until they were almost breaking free from the dress.
Harris looked at her eyes as a distraction, smiled and lifted his hands as if to surrender.
“You win, Michelle, if this is about us running away to LA together then… okay, I give up - let’s go!”
Michelle made a little face of disapproval spoiled only by the smirk that broke through.
“You’re firing at the wrong target, Jonn.”
Harris picked up on her tone pretty quickly.
“Want a drink?” he asked.
“If you’re having one.”
“Driving later, so not for me. Go on.” Harris said pouring some vodka into a cup and then adding some orange in.
Michelle nodded her thanks and took a sip while Harris waited for whatever he was going to be reprimanded for.
“Have you spoken to Christene tonight?” she asked.
“For about twelve seconds or so and then she just wandered off – so… not really.”
Michelle shook her head. “For a bright guy, you can be pretty dense sometimes.”
“Gee, thanks!” he replied a little flatly.
“You might have tried a little harder with Christene! You know what Christmas is like for her, being the anniversary of all that stuff with her Mum’s affair. She’s never celebrated it since I’ve known her - I mean, she’s been invited for Christmas at our house for the past three years and never appeared once. It’s a rough time of year for Christene and you could probably have made it a bit more tolerable for her tonight.”
“Hang on, Michelle! What am I supposed to have done?”
“The girl wearing the jeans upset her… and by the jeans I mean your jeans! She thinks you and the girl were… well, you can imagine - can’t you?”
“And did she think you and I played home press-ups when you got my little cut-off shorts?”
“No, obviously not. She knows me… and that they looked much better on me than you!”
Harris laughed but said nothing.
“Jonn, she’s a bit bugged at the best of times but now she sees this girl and thinks you’re off on one of your torrid crusades.”
“Christene seems to have gone out her way to blank me time and again, Michelle. Don’t look as if you don’t know what I mean - Chris didn’t even check if I was okay after that incident at Stevie’s and wouldn’t even speak to me all the way home after the Suzanne thing. I’ve been pretty bloody tolerant, especially as she’s made real damn sure I don’t get too close to her!”
“Yeah, and you’re really known for opening up and getting close with people, Iceman!”
Harris didn’t laugh this time.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that as harshly as it sounded. It’s just that I really love Christene, she’s become my best friend over the past few years and every time I’ve been messed up it’s been her or you who sit and listen. It was her advice that helped me through all that stuff with Mhic, she suggested… well, it helped! For once I’d like to do something that actually makes her life better rather than just be there to listen when she feels down.”
Harris tilted his head. “And what do you have in mind?”
Michelle stared at him, gazing right into his eyes - watching for any sign.
“Do you have something going on with the other girl?”
“Went out, she thought I was something I’m not and she’s just a really nice girl - Like you, actually… but no, I’m not ‘with’ her - I’m not with anyone!”
“Fine - Do you like Christene?”
“Hmmm? Join the dots! Isn’t it obvious? Yes - I spend enough time with her, don’t I?”
“Well, you spend a lot of time with me but we don’t sleep together, do we?”
“A mistake that time will undoubtedly rectify!” he smirked, rakishly.
“In your dreams, devil-boy!”
“I’m crushed, Michelle!”
“Do you like Christene in that way? God, it’s like trying to get blood out of a stone getting you to make any comment even vaguely close to emotion, isn’t it?”
“It has been said.”
“By a trail of casualties you’ve left behind.”
Harris leaned against the desk and folded his arms. “Okay - just get to the core!”
“Okay, I will! I think you’ve got a real thing for her and you’re both going out your way to make sure nothing happens between you. That’s a mistake - she’s the first one I’ve seen who can keep up with you, answer back and attract you in the way I’ve only seen once or twice before when it comes to you. If you don’t do something about this, I think you’ll regret it. She really likes you, Jonn!”
Harris sighed and looked down with a long pause before he spoke again.
“Actually, I was going to invite her to spend Christmas at my place this year and then go out together in the evening, but when I saw her earlier on it was nothing but a forced smile and a lot of blonde hair walking away. That snuffed any notions I might have carried for a Merry Christene Christmas. I’ve tried to be her friend no matter what crazy situations she’s gotten herself into and all I seem to get back is more grief. I haven’t done anything to deserve that.”
Michelle walked over and sat against the desk, close enough to him to breathe the scent of her ‘Dior’ and feel the heat of her body being swallowed by his own constant low temperature.
“No, you haven’t! I know she’s been hard work sometimes and you’ve never let her down… and you’re right, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. But sometimes when a girl wants a guy they don’t exactly behave rationally - do they? Time and time again you play the mediator and sort other people’s love lives out - why not do something for yourself for a change. Stop living in whatever frozen part of hell you think you deserve to be in. She’s being cold because she wants to be close to you and I think it scares her - and that’s something you should be familiar with!”
Harris nodded and said nothing until she pecked him on the cheek making him turn with a little boyish smile on his face.
There was a knock at the door before Mhic stuck his head round.
“Listen, Christene is leaving - now! The taxi’s there and she’s coming down the stairs. Just in case you wanted to know.”
Michelle looked at Mhic with a big smile as Harris rose and went out the door without a word.

00.06 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
“Come on, Christene - we’re all going. It’ll be fun!” Bill implored and Stevie nodded in agreement.
“Thanks, guys, but my Mum gets a bit twitchy at Christmas - so I’ve got to fly.” she said pulling on her long grey raincoat right in front of the cloakroom.
Sto slipped his arm round Tina as he demanded to make his voice heard. “Christene… Michelle and Mhic will be all alone without you!”
“I really can’t, Sto… You guys have a great time for me!” she replied, noting Harris approaching down the hallway to the echoed sounds of the New York Dolls ‘Jet Boy’. “See you over the hols, have a good Christmas, everyone!”
Christene hugged and kissed them all one after the other, by which time Harris was standing amongst them.
She looked into his face dispassionately and pecked him briefly on the cheek.
“Have a lovely Christmas, Harris! ‘Night.”
She was already round the corner to the exit before the others started to comment, looking at Harris.
“Brrrrr, bit chilly!” Sto said, almost with amusement, as Tina frowned, looking at Harris with a little more sympathy than she usually felt for him.
“Can someone shut the fridge door?” Bill asked with a witty grin.
Harris made a pretend smile and stomped off round the corner hearing Stoker ask, “Who was that masked man?”
“That was no masked man, Tonto… “ Bill responded, “ …that was The Lone Ranger!”

00.08 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
There was a light coat of disturbed snow in front of the Hall as Christene skipped down the steps to the waiting private hire cab. Her fingers were pulling on the handle of the rear door when Harris appeared in the light on the opened doorway.
“Christene, wait a minute.”
“What?” she asked with obvious irritation.
“What’s the matter - what’s going on?”
“Nothing, Harris! You know I hate Christmas and will never celebrate it until I have a life again. That’s all! Look, I have to go - my Mum will be really wigging on her own tonight.”
“So you’re going to sit at home for Christmas?”
“No! My Mum and I will have Christmas day together - it might not be much but we still have each other. And when she heads off to Gina’s to get pissed and obliviate - then I’ll sit alone for Christmas! Anything else or can I go now?”
Harris bit his natural instincts and took her arm. “Hang on, I’ve been trying to ask you something all night but you’ve seemed to manage to keep off my radar for whatever reason. I wondered if you wanted to come to Casa Harris for Christmas?”
Christene opened the taxi door, eyes blazing as he gently held onto her arm.
“Didn’t you hear me? My Christmas is all mapped out - thank you! If I want charity, I’ll go to Oxfam - so keep your pity, Harris! Go back and charm someone else!”
He let out a sharp sigh of exasperation as quietly as he could, biting down on his irritation and finding himself uncertain of her for once.
“I don’t do pity, Christene! I only invite Family-Family to my place on Christmas and that’s why I’m asking you.”
“Well, you’ve asked and I’ve said no - are we done?”
Harris shook his head and started to turn away as she got into the vehicle, stopping her before she slammed the door shut. “Hold it! If you don’t want to come for Christmas then would you like to go out somewhere? Maybe I’m being too subtle but I’m asking you out.”
Christene laughed derisively. “Yeah, I believe you - thanks! Try me again round about April first! Now you can pop back inside with a clear conscience and get your jeans back and I’ll be on my way home to my Mum.”
He shook his head and stood back. Christene didn’t shut the door.
“So, when I gave you my black zip-top you liked so much during the summer - that was different because…?”
“I have to go, Jonn!”
“I can’t make you go out with me, Christene, and I won’t beg anyone, ever! But I wish you would, because we’ve done all the dancing round that we’re going to.”
Christene wound the window down and closed the door, her face etched in thought.
“Chris, come over for Christmas night! Stop all this crap you’re filling your life with.”
“Can we go, driver?” Christene asked the fat man, who shrugged and began to drive off as they slowly moved away from the thin figure.
Harris was mad but kept his anger down to a mild rage.
“So are you coming over?” he shouted as the car pulled away.
The blonde head popped out the window and smiled.
“Is that a yes?” he shouted as the car reached the top of the incline.
“It’s a maybe, Harris!”
And with that the car disappeared leaving him alone outside the red, white, and blue lights of the hall. He was smiling wryly as he went back, shaking his head as he approached the steps and thinking how he never seemed to pick the nice, simple approach to relationships - somehow his all had to be done the hard way.
As Harris mounted the steps Joanna’s Rick almost ran into him as he stormed out the doors to the very discernible sound of ‘Ships in the Night’ - the irony wasn’t lost on him.
“Whoa, slow down, man!” Harris said with some concern.
“Sorry - fucking women! Can’t live with them - Can’t live without them! Cheers, hope you have a better Christmas than me!”
Harris watched in complete puzzlement as the man headed down Rose Street towards Sauchiehall Street, becoming smaller and smaller until he disappeared. The concept of ‘irony’ vividly flashed through his mind once more. Well, at least he wasn’t the only human on the planet who clearly had women trouble!

00.22 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
‘And it’s hi-ho-silver lining’ shouted the entire hall every time Danny, DJ, Jackson cut the track on the chorus to let them all chant the pop anthem. He laughed to himself every time he did that, 393 DJ gigs and it still made him smile. Jane stood beside the booth waiting to ask him to play ‘Love is the Drug’ for her. Kitted out like the other Sawbones, Danny was still the most handsome - it was his job as frontman. The noise was intense but at least he could hear her behind the speakers.
“Will you put it on for me?” Jane asked leaning over and inadvertently flashing her cleavage.
DJ was oblivious to her assets, only watching her big eyes and pretty face.
“Yeah, sure! On one condition…”
“What condition?” she asked a little coyly.
“You dance with me!”
Jane giggled as she looked at him. “I’d like that!”
“Great… excuse me a second. Okay, Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music for all you boys and girls overdosed on amour… this is ‘Love is the Drug’.”
Jane smiled as he dumped his headphones and took her hand to join the hot sweaty mass of bodies.

The second chorus was bubbling through the hallway as bodies came and went.
Stevie ran his hands over Moira’s hips as they stood by the cloakroom.
“So you have to go home about one?” he asked.
“Don’t have to, but I will unless there’s something else to do.”
“Why not come to the party after - it’ll be a rager, burning till the early hours. We can get loaded and kick back!”
“Maybe… Depends…”
“On what?” Stevie asked pulling her closer, impressed by her perfect features and the scent of her Chanel.
“If you’re a good kisser, Steven!”
With a measured stroke along her sides Stevie moved his face to hers, watching the smile stretch across her face. His lips opened as he moved in to press his mouth to hers when she sidestepped him.
“What?” he said as she moved a couple of feet away and leaned against the wall.
“I didn’t say I’d let you kiss me, did I?”
Stevie smiled a little, “You’re bad, aren’t you?”
Moira stretched her long thin arm out and grabbed him by the front of his T-shirt before she pulled him against her.
“You’ll find that out later, maybe!” she laughed and kissed him.

Harris watched DJ dance with Jane, that was one he didn’t expect as Roxy’s roll moved to its climax. Without effort he turned away and looked up at the tall girl standing beside him and continued to talk.
“He’s a good guy, actually, just not the brightest of God’s creatures when it comes to romance.” Harris said with a hint of tongue in cheek finesse.
“I just wish I could find a guy who doesn’t look at me and think, too tall, too sporty, too imposing. When I was younger I was so fat, spotty and ungainly, I hated everything. I thought ‘I’ll never grow up to meet some nice guy and get married’ …all the silly stuff kids think.” Rose lamented.
“…and obviously one day that little girl became the Swan we see today?”
“Hmmm, easy to see why some of the girls at my school label you a bit of a charmer.”
“Rarely does a lie escape these lips.”
The girl laughed and raised her eyebrows. “…anyway, when I hit thirteen I shot up and started to look human for the first time in my life. That’s when I thought ‘great, now I’ll be able to do the things that were already written off in my head’.”
“I’m still not seeing a problem yet, Rose!”
“Girls can be shy, but guys are so frail and reluctant to ask anyone they think is pretty out or even to dance. I’m tired of having to chase guys, they should be…”
“Chasing you?” Harris suggested.
Rose giggled and nodded with a little embarrassment as she realised how vain she had unconsciously sounded.
He looked down, searching for something as DJ was already back at work except with Jane now in the booth beside him. The Arrows ‘Touch Too Much’ filled the air and a host of dancers chanted the chorus almost as loudly as the PA.
“Will you excuse me, Rose? I’ll grab a couple of decent drinks. Don’t go away, promise?”
“I’m hanging on a thread until you come back!” she said with a smile, looking at him with some interest.
“Another ‘Golden Moment’ for me to replay on my deathbed!” he replied as she giggled in response.
Harris smiled and made his way through the balcony of bodies. Sometimes it’d be nice to do something good for himself and she really was a hyper-cutie… who towered above him like Gigantor!
Bill and Stan were checking the hall, watching out for anybody who’d got too loaded and was starting to feel frisky - the last hour was always when trouble could really kick off and they’d been pretty lucky tonight with only a few trivial skirmishes, so far! They stopped and nudged one another each time they saw anything which was a ‘cut above’ until Stan made a mega nudge at the Eurasian girl.
“Now that’s to die for, Billy boy!”
The girl waved Bill over and he shrugged to Stan before he went to dance with Tina. “It’s a curse, man! Good looks and personality, but what can I do?”
Bill was already shimmying with her as Stan muttered, “Jammy bastard!”
“Talking to yourself again, Stan?” Harris said from behind.
“Jesus, it’s the devil’s child! Anything happening?”
“Nah - all quiet on the western front really. You? Met anyone, seen anything you like?”
“Well…” he began but his expression changed as he continued, “Not really.”
“Are you freezing me out, Stan?”
“Tell you something Harris and I have to live with it being dragged out for the next three months, it isn’t just elephants who don’t forget when you’re around!”
“Who is she?”
Stan looked a little sheepish for a moment. “Doesn’t matter, she’s gone anyway.”
“Well then, it’s safe to tell me - isn’t it?”
“Fuck’s sake you’re like the Spanish inquisition! Rose! Happy now?”
“Rose, you mean the big tall cutie, Netball Captain chick?”
“Yes – exactly.”
“Did you try it on?”
“Yeah, right! Asked her to my Malibu Beach House. ‘Course not, out of my league - you’d probably be lucky to make headway. You only come up to her…”
“Stop talking - now! I know something you don’t know, Stan!”
“Do I want to know?”
“Think so, mate.”
They watched for trouble and walked to the back of the hall and Harris remained silent.
“Are you going to tell me?” Stan asked.
“Let’s get a Coke upstairs.” Harris said leading him up the stairs, pausing on the mid flight landing.
“Right, hang on! I’ve got a mission for you, Mr. Phelps, and should you or any of your IM forces be caught or fail we will, of course, disavow any knowledge of you!”
“I’m not cleaning the bogs! You can forget that for a start…”
“Stan, that Rose is pretty fucking fine and you’re pretty hooked - am I right?”
Stan leaned against the wall eyeing a little blonde who was passing behind Harris. Finally he nodded to Harris. “Yeah, Rose or Sylvia Kristel - and I have the same chance with them both!”
“Only fifty per cent right, Sport!”
“You got me Sylvia for Christmas? What a guy!” Stan said hugging Harris.
The thin youth extricated himself with a chuckle. “How often can you be wrong in your life? Rose is upstairs waiting for me to come back, except I’m not coming back - you are!”
“Fuck off, Harris! You won’t get me with any more of those japes!”
“Jim, don’t be a dick all your life! I might take the piss every now and then, but sometimes I like to rebalance the world. She likes you, Sport! But faint heart never won fair lady - apparently!”
“You’re kidding?”
“I’ve got my serious face on. Do yourself a favour and get in there! Anybody she’s toyed with hasn’t got anywhere with her. My impression is she’s got a thing for you - although you probably won’t get to use it at this rate.”
“Nah, can’t - she’ll just tell me to fuck off!”
“Do I know babes?”
Stan raised his eyebrow, it was well known that Harris seemed to have some bizarre affinity with women. There was no reply to make, the facts stood for themselves.
“I’ll say this once and once only - if you don’t do what I’ve suggested you’ll be kicking yourself.. coz I’ll go back and that’s a fate worse than death for her - right?”
Stan nodded with a grin and slapped Harris on the back already beginning to go on up.
“Good luck, Jim!”

00.43 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
“God - he’s so pig-headed, isn’t he?” Michelle asked them.
“Sometimes, but we all have a bit of that in us - don’t we?” Mhic confessed, pouring everyone some more vodka.
Bill nodded his thanks. “He’s a bit strange when it comes to choosing his girls.”
Tina sipped the drink with a secretive smile. “Don’t ever repeat this because I’m not known as the biggest fan of Harris, but I’ve never seen him treat anyone badly who didn’t deserve it. Sadly, if they do deserve it, he can be something of a bastard - he completely decimated Moira last week.”
“Well, that’s a deserving case if ever there was one!” Bill laughed.
“Hey, she was a friend, well… acquaintance of mine you know.”
Michelle shuffled about the room, still pining to dance.
Mhic checked his watch and asked, “Who’s on the door?”
“Ronnie and Andy - they said they wanted to do the exiting in case there was something feeling lonely leaving!”
“Man, your Sawbones boys are something else! But… DJ is a pretty good DJ, though!” Mhic sighed.
Sto and Hellen were sitting in the corner pawing each other and generally ignoring the conversation until Hellen removed her hand from inside Sto’s vest and asked, “Where’s pretty Penny, then?”
Tina avoided Bill’s searching fingers with a quick slap and nodded behind her. “Still dancing, that girl’s got enough energy to power the Blackpool illuminations!”
Bill started to finger her back and she turned with gritted teeth revealing enough of a threat to make him fall back in mock fear.
“So, how did she get Harris’s jeans?” Michelle asked innocently.
“Well I can tell you how she didn’t get them!” Hellen said bitterly.
“One of his good luck - lucky charm gifts, actually. Asked me to drop them off to her last weekend. He really is a strange one about stuff like that, but I’ll be damned if they didn’t work, she’s had guys chasing her all night. No more ugly duckling days for her!” Tina said with a barbed smile at Hellen who simply sniffed and went back to interfering with Sto again.
Mhic stood up and stretched. “We’d better get back out, there’s only Stevie, Stan, Jonn and Tom-Tom on patrol!”
With a protracted knock Stevie slipped through the doorway pulling Moira behind him.
“Any V left?” he asked with a little hesitation.
Tina stood up and quietly muttered. “Well, that’s my cue to go, coming, Wildman?”
Rosser smiled and followed her. “To the ends of the earth!”
“All my men say that!”
Moira leaned against the wall as Bill and Tina exited. “I think you mean that’s where you drive your men, Tina!”
Bill came back and walked up to Moira, pushing his face into hers. “It still wouldn’t be far enough away from you!”
Stevie turned the other way and poured out two healthy cups of booze, looking up as Mhic moved over to him. “Stevie, make sure you leave some for Jonn - he hasn’t had any of it tonight.”
“Sure!”
“Well, just to be really sure…” Mhic took the last bottle of Blue label and stuck it in the cupboard, flicking the little combination lock.
Stevie handed the cup to Moira, uncertain if the smooching Sto and Hellen had any idea they were there, watching the door close as the room emptied.
“Was it something I said?” Moira laughed.

00.47 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
Harris was checking the top corridor even though no-one was meant to be here - but there was always someone who couldn’t read or who wanted some privacy with a new partner… or sometimes, someone else’s partner. It was a tall, poorly lit corridor and the volume of the music downstairs echoed with a ghostly resonance here. The sound of The Ventures ‘Sleepwalk’ was drifting eerily around him, signifying the slow dancing sessions had begun downstairs.
At the far end Harris saw a tall, dark figure. “Hey, this is off-limits! Did you miss the big sign or something?” he continued with an increased pace, radar on alert in case something was amiss.
It was a girl in a long, tight buttoned skirt, clinging polo neck and a large mane of chestnut brown hair standing in the furthest corner.
“Sorry, but you’ll have to go back down to the… Joanna?”
The girl wiped a hand across her face before she turned to him.
“Sorry, Harris, I was leaving anyway! I just wanted some peace for a few minutes.”
Joanna made sure she stayed in the shadows as she walked up to him.
Harris held his arm out to stop her, instantly noticing the red eyes and puffiness that only comes about when someone’s been crying hard.
“Hey, hey - hang on! What’s up, has someone done something to you?” he asked with concern.
“Only me, I’m afraid.” Joanna replied with a weak smile.
He sat her down on the little bench in front of the statue of Mary.
“What’s up?” he asked and instantly remembered her friend angrily leaving after the protracted Christene torture.
“Nothing - nothing’s wrong!” the girl replied aggressively.
“Doesn’t really look like it from here. I’ve never seen you shed a tear, even when I used to torment you to death when I was thirteen.”
Joanna laughed a little and looked over. “I’ve cried before, just no-one’s ever seen me do it until now!”
Harris’s brow furrowed again. “I assume you’re not crying over the jam dumped into your knicker drawer in ‘seventy two?”
This time she laughed a bit more enthusiastically.
“No, not that! …I’ve just fucked up that’s all!”
“Crying and swearing in the one night, I certainly hope murder isn’t next on the list.”
“Only if I’m the victim!”
Harris put his arm round her shoulder and she remained rigid, it was something he would normally never do with someone whose personality was as abrasive as his own, but something simply told him to do it. He eyed the statue suspiciously.
“It can’t be that bad, Joanna.”
He felt a little internal sob make her body shake and then she cradled into him a little.
“I’ve made a mess of everything… with Rick! He’s lovely and I’ve kept him away from me since Summer and he still kept coming back. Instead of appreciating it, well, telling him how much I do appreciate it, I just kept pushing and pushing and…” she half sobbed.
“Once too often?” Harris asked.
Joanna nodded hard.
He pulled the monogrammed handkerchief from his waistcoat and slipped it under her shielded face.
“Thanks!”
“Do you want to sit up here for a while or do you want to come down to the office and have a drink… I’ll leave you in peace down there if you want to be on your own, but at least you’ll be warm and safe.”
Joanna nodded and cleaned herself up before she followed him.

00.49 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
Penny felt the blonde boy’s arms slip round her waist as she lent against the wall with her shoulders. There were people passing the landing where they stood.
Tony was good looking, perfectly dressed and the only one she’d danced with three times.
“So, can I phone you, Penny?”
“Maybe… “
“I’d really like to see you again over the holidays!”
“That’d be nice.” she replied as he drew closer.
“You’re a great dancer, funny and… really beautiful!”
Tony’s lips pressed her own with uncertainty and gentility. Penny kissed him back the same way, liking how he felt to be in her arms but as soon as she closed her eyes she wished he was Harris.

“Wait!” Tina said to Bill, nodding down to her friend.
“I thought you wanted to have the last few dances?”
“I don’t want to disturb Penny!”
“Tina, people are passing her by the dozen, she won’t even see us.”
With a flick of her brows and a toss of her hair she grudgingly nodded in agreement.
Bill pointed his head downward and she smiled as he held his arm out - he was a beautifully cultured savage. She took his arm and they slipped into the human traffic.

00.52 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
Stevie and Moira were kissing on the old sofa in the office at the opposite end of the room from Sto and Hellen.
“Sto,” Hellen said quietly, “do you really want to go to the party?”
“Fuck, yeah!” he replied. “Don’t you?”
“I can think of something better…”
“Really?” Sto said coyly.
“I could take you to Rhona’s flat…”
“…and?”
“you could tie me to the bed and do… whatever you want! I feel like a little pain!”
Sto wisely resisted suggesting he’d often felt that she was indeed a little pain, but even being so wasted he knew that comments like that were the best way to end up playing one hand lover all night.
“Do you like all that?”
“Don’t you?”
“…maybe.”
“Or I could do you, if you want?”
“We could still do that after the party and it’d be nice to get a little more bombed, wouldn’t it?”
“Well… yes, it would!”
“So, we’ll go - but won’t stay long.”
Before Hellen could reply Harris entered with Joanna waiting outside. He didn’t even see Stevie and Moira.
“Sorry, folks, could I ask you to leave for a little while - I need to use the office. Thanks!” he said as Sto was already rising to his feet, pulling Hellen behind him.
“The Mainman shouts and the dogs all run!” Moira sneered.
“Moira…” Stevie began with some concern.
Harris shook his head and said nothing, merely opened the door wider and smiled his apologetic thanks to Sto and Hellen as they exited.
Stevie started to leave but Moira stood with arms folded by the desk.
“I asked politely, Moira!” Harris said as she simply tilted her head defiantly. “For the cognitively hard of hearing that means fuck off - in the very immediate nowness!”
“If you only knew how much people hate you!” the pretty blonde seethed in response as she briefly looked over to the girl at the door.
“Don’t know and don’t care! Piss off, Moira… and try not to ruin Stevie’s life for him.”
“I utterly despise you, Harris!” Moira hissed.
“And I you… to infinity! Bye bye.”
Stevie slipped back past him sheepishly and gently took Moira’s elbow. It took long moments before she moved to the door, refusing to look at Harris as they left.
“I hope you die a little more inside over the festive season, Harris!” Moira said looking intently at Joanna in passing.
Harris nodded Joanna in and then called out. “Moira, you probably won’t be able to get home later - you forgot your broomstick!”
The door was swiftly closed on her appalling use of the English language.
“Sorry about that, Joanna.”
“No, it’s my fault - I’m getting in the way.”
Harris merely shook his head with a strange expression and poured her a stiff drink, adding a little orange.
“Not one of your many fans, Jonn?”
“Nope, an ex with the hex.”
Joanna took a deep swallow and then a second one. “I should really go…”
“Look, I’ll leave you in peace if you want to sit for a while, but don’t go home feeling this way. I know it’s a bit inappropriate, but you could go up and see Mhic and Michelle - all of them… or go and have a dance or something. A girl like you will be batting them off with a stick!”
“Yeah? But I still ended up with you at Margo’s party when I was fifteen!”
“Aye - Happy days, Lass” he said in his best Terry Collier, Northern drawl.
“You really were a little monster, Harris!”
“And you were a little octopus, if I remember rightly,”
“Dream on!”
“Deny, deny, deny, but it doesn’t change the truth.”
“Not the way I remember it.” she giggled.
“Senility? There will be no whitewash in the White House!” he mimicked, doing the Nixon shake.
“Stop the bombing - I’ll go and pick some pimply youth to dance with if you’ll just stop!”
Harris smiled as she quickly finished her drink. “See, that was all you had to do!”
“Let’s go - I might live long enough to see you dancing, Harris,”
“Not in this lifetime! Shall we?” he asked holding the door open.
“Thank you!” she replied over courteously.
“No, Thank yooooou!”

00.56 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
“…still slowing it down with a few smoochy numbers now - for all those who’ve found love at Christmas. This is ‘Nights In White Satin’, especially for the very lovely Jane!”
Sto’s eyes flashed a moment of anger as he saw DJ take the very lovely Jane in his arms and gently cradle her less than ten feet away from the spot he was wooing Hellen. It was a strange world indeed.

Stevie pulled Moira’s arm, “Oh, come on, please! I haven’t had a slow dance with you yet.”
“I’m so mad, I really hate him!” she said and reluctantly gave into the boy with the target on his chest.
Finally she relented and sank into his arms.
“Just as well you’re so good looking, Stevie - because you’ve got absolutely no bloody backbone! You should have told Harris to get..”
Stevie kissed her with a fiery heat that surprised Moira and made her reciprocate, wholly unaware Harris was passing just behind them.

Stan took Rose by the hand and led her to a little space where they could dance.
“You’re a lot funnier than I remember, James!” she said.
“Maybe I should have worn my clown suit last time?” Stan laughed.
“Why didn’t you come over earlier?”
“Meant to be keeping an eye on this lot… but I ended up spending most of the night watching you.”
“Really? Awww, that’s so nice!” Rose said, kissing him quickly.
Simultaneously Stan’s eyes caught Harris passing by with some girl, he flicked a thumbs up sign to the thin youth who saluted back with a wide smile.
Stan felt her warm body against him, it was like a dream, dancing with her and she kisses him. He realised she was quiet and staring into his eyes, and even then it took a moment until it clicked. Nervously he moved forward and gently kissed her, finding she held him closer, kissed him deeper - she looked that good and kissed so well, who needed to be the Basketball captain?

Joanna followed a pace or so behind Harris, politely declining offers to dance with a sweet smile and a little dip of her neck. When he turned to make sure she was okay her eyes flicked over to Stan and she nodded.
“Was that your work?” she asked.
Harris almost looked sheepish. “Just took down some barriers to the course of true love!”
“You know no good deed goes unpunished, don’t you, Harris?”
“Virtue is its own reward!” he laughed taking her by the arm.

Mhic and Michelle were like conjoined twin as they danced, if that was what it could be called. Their limbs were intertwined and interlaced so that it was hard to tell where one began and another ended. They made a pretty couple and a captivating sight, like newlyweds who still hadn’t got to the point where they could see any flaws in one another. As they kissed throughout the song it seemed as if they even breathed for one another.

Tina and Bill danced near Penny and Tony, the difference being Rosser’s hands tended to almost independently inspect Tina’s rear side where Tony maintained a respectable hold around Penny’s waist.
Bill’s hands caressed Tina’s bottom for, what seemed to her, like a substantial amount of time. With a little thrilling thrust she nudged his crotch with her own pelvis. “I use that for sitting on, if you want a photo and a map it’ll cost you fifty quid - so pay up or stop mishandling the goods!”
Bill removed his right hand, dug it into his pocket and pulled out a fistful of ticket money without a word - simply grinning his winning smile.
Tina actually laughed aloud. “Put it away - I give up, you’re not a man to take a subtle hint are you? But, I suppose, at least now I know what that bulge isn’t!”
Bill laughed, replacing the notes and holding her around the waist - never taking his eyes off hers, silently finding her as entertaining as she was gorgeous - she wasn’t Mandy, but she was the next best thing he could’ve hoped for. Catriona who?
Tina put her head on his shoulder and found her eyes drifting to watch Penny, seeing Tony’s attraction was deeper than Penny’s, for when they kissed it was only in short, brief bursts. Harris had inadvertently cursed another victim.

Joanna watched the dancers and felt as if she was hundreds of years older than them now instead of merely two or three years their senior. Most of them were oblivious to the changes they would face in the next couple of years and it was probably just as well - people should enjoy their lives while they can and worry about tomorrow when it came… she wished she could!

1.07 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
“… last couple of songs of the night, kicking the pace up again with Angel and ‘White Lightning’!”
DJ’s voice was just light babble as they stood in the little office, emptying the last of the bottle of vodka - swilling it down as Harris spoke. Mhic, Sto, Bill, Stan and Stevie were scattered around, sitting on any suitable surface.
“So if we can get the gear broken down and loaded…Stan, maybe you and Stevie could give the Sawbones lads a hand with that, the rest of us do a tidy blitz and then everyone can get out by two at the latest. Is that okay with everyone?”
The rambling burble was assumed to be an affirmative.
“Stevie, are you still thinking of driving everyone over to the Southside in your van?” Harris asked.
“Yeah - fuck trying to score a fleet of taxis at this time!”
“And you lot are going to let this fucking stoned drunk risk your lives and, even worse, your cuties?”
There was a hushed silence of acknowledgement and Stevie wisely kept his mouth shut.
Stan piped up as he put his drink down. “I could drive everyone, I only had two drinks at the start of the night and what I sipped just now.”
“Yes - Stan’s the man!” Sto whooped.
“Nice one - Jimbo!” Stevie nodded, tossing the keys over.
“Just one condition - I get to drop Rose off after you guys?” Stan asked.
Stevie looked puzzled, “What do you mean, you two are coming to the party, right?”
“Well, I didn’t know if we were invited?”
“Fuck, yeah!” Mhic and Sto said in chorus.
Stan smiled at the unexpected response and nodded his appreciation.
“You’re with the bad boys now, Sport! FFL!”
The others started chanting “FFL - FFL - FFL”
“Fucked for life!” Harris laughed, slapping Stan on the back.
They laughed like drains, tanned their drinks - Sto also gobbling Stan’s almost untouched cup, and went out in time to catch the last fast dance before the compulsory slow finale!

1.14 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
The sound of Bowie’s ‘Jean Genie’ was already going into Ronno’s solo when Harris found Joanna at the back of the hall, looking even more lonely than before.
“Hey!” he smiled and gave her a little nudge. “Do you want to go to the party later with everyone?”
“No - thanks, but, no… not really in a social mood. I’ll just grab a taxi after the rush fades probably.”
“You might enjoy it?”
She ruffled his hair, knowing it was something he absolutely hated but she enjoyed doing it to him when he was about fourteen. He remained surprisingly unperturbed.
“Thanks, Harris - you’ve made up for your years of torment tonight! You don’t have to try and make sure I have fun at any price, you know. But, thanks anyway, I just want to get some peace and think a few things through later.”
Bumping her with his shoulders as he reset his hair, he smiled. “You’re your own worst enemy, you know.”
Joanna laughed and elbowed him back in the ribs. “Pot? Kettle? Join the dots!”
Harris faked a look of astonishment.
“I’ll drop you off if you want, Joanna, it’ll cost a fortune to get out to Hellenford!”
She shook her head as Bowie moved to the last choruses.
“I’m staying in Hyndland tonight - flat watching! So your babysitting patrol is over for the night - go to the party and have fun, there’s bound to be some little teenie waiting to have her heart broken!”
Harris smiled a little wryly. “I wish I had as much fun as my bad reputation does - but I’m just going to head home after I lock up. I’m partied out, it’s been a hectic couple of weeks and there’s always another party on the horizon.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, do you want dropped off or shall I call you a taxi just now?”
Joanna smiled and looked at him. “Do you mind dropping me off - I’ll give a hand with the tidying to earn my fare?”
“Deal! So, do you wanna dance?”
“With you?”
“No, with Jimmy Carter!” he said taking her by the hand onto the floor.
“Thought you didn’t dance, Harris?”
“Special exemption clause for slow dancing with sad faced, pretty girls!”
DJ broke in again. “And the very last tune of the night, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… thanks for being here, get home safely and remember - have a Great Christmas! This is a slow one for all you romantics…”
Joanna smirked and rolled her eyes. “Very not us!”
“Listen, I’m just glad it’s dark and hopefully nobody will notice me dancing with you. Some shame is too great to live with!” he chuckled back as she dropped her hands on his shoulders when he took her waist.
The music began as DJ finished his intro. “This is Mud and ‘Lonely This Christmas’ - Goodnight all!”
Joanna rolled her eyes more emphatically in disbelief as Harris laughed at her, but they stayed there dancing till the bitter end.

ROSE STREET : 1.58 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
The snow was still no more than a light dusting on the streets but it made everything look a little tidier as Harris and Joanna stood outside the darkened building. The van filled with his comrades was already a set of faded red lights traversing the next hill as they stood in the cold.
“You should have gone with them, Harris!” Joanna suggested as they walked across the road to the black Celica.
“I might wander over later, but there again, I might not.”
“Are you hiding out? Avoiding specific people, someone in particular?”
Harris unlocked and opened the passenger door for her.
“Not really, just too many ex’s at one party could be a little… close for me!”
Joanna stared at him wryly and then got into the car, popping open half a dozen buttons from the bottom on her long skirt to let her negotiate the manoeuvre.
Against his will Harris looked at her well shaped legs.
“Hey, Harris, get out the gutter - the rest of me is up here!”
“Yeah, but your best features are from the neck down!”
“Thank you very much!”
“What am I going to look at on you? You’re like my own sister… which puts a sudden and inexplicably bad taste in my mouth now!” he said slamming the door with a hint of a smile.

PRINCE’S GARDENS, HYNDLAND : 02.12 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
Jeff Beck’s ‘Raynes Park Blues’ oozed out the four speakers in the Celica as he pulled up and parked on the little avenue where only a few house lights remained on in the large, plush terrace that was hosting a spectrum of glistening Christmas lights.
“Thanks, Harris, you’ve been pretty decent tonight considering you’re a fully qualified bastard generally!” Joanna said with a little tense laugh. “I do appreciate it, though - thanks!”
“Forget it. Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine, always am!”
Harris cocked his head in that way he tended to when he felt there was something being unsaid.
“What?” she asked with a little irritation.
“Nothing - you’ll be fine, that’s what you said - isn’t it?”
Joanna dropped her head back against the headrest, stared out the passenger window and then, clearing her throat, turned to him. “You just don’t let up, do you?”
Harris mimed a reflective look before announcing, “No!”
“Okay, Sherlock, you want the full SP? Here it is… Back in June I went to the Western to have treatment for a load of little tumours they detected after my six monthly smear… meaning surgery and low level radiotherapy. The cheerful result of that was not having to worry about conceiving for some time. Well, It didn’t exactly go perfectly and I then had invasive surgery they thought might have required a full hysterectomy - which mercifully hasn’t been necessary so far. But I look a mess down there and can’t even look at it myself, never mind imagine how far any potential boyfriend will run when he sees the scarred carnage. Unsurprisingly enough my vanity won’t let me get past all that shit and it’s made my romantic life into a monogamous affair with the fingers of my own left hand, absolutely no man getting past a gentle kiss and a lot of get lost! Nobody outside my family knows, so Ricky just thinks I’m some irrational, man-hating, permanently pre-menstrual bitch who won’t let him near - and tonight was the end of the line for him. So, now you know! Happy?” she said with a misty eyed faraway glance.
Harris was astounded and quite upset for a second, there were no platitudes to change that experience or provide any solace for the need to transform one’s own psychological disposition.
“Well, it’s no help - but it could’ve been worse…”
Joanna turned on him, her face reflecting nothing aside from anger but before she could even begin her tirade he simply continued talking.
“…After all, it might have been a brain aneurysm, leaving you with a charming, warm, friendly disposition and personality instead of the jaggy, twisted, cynical superbitch we’ve grown to love and admire - you really have to look on the bright side!”
A little tear rolled out despite her tension breaking laughter as she giggled out, “You complete and utter prick, Harris!”
“Thank you, thank you very much!” he said in an incredibly accurate Vegas Elvis impersonation as he squeezed her right hand comfortingly.
There was a brief, awkward silence and she made no move to exit nor to look at him or talk as the melancholy music flowed on.
“You know, Harris - anybody else would have been filled with ‘Sorrys and Sympathy’, but not you… straight in, like a dagger through the mind - nice!”
“People like us don’t take sympathy too well, we need answers not ‘Sorrys’. You’re lucky, Joanna, you were born beautiful and that’s not changed… I’d worry about the scars on your mind before the scars on your body - and any guy who doesn’t feel the same way about you probably isn’t worth being with. Your man, Rick, doesn’t sound like the type of arsehole who’d get scared off by some tissue damage - your violently twisted behaviour patterns, yes… but not a few scars!”
There was dead silence, nothing but the ticking of the engine and the downbeat music filling the empty space between them.
Joanna wiped her tears dry and nodded to him.
“I never thought I’d live to see this day.” she said evenly.
“Am I missing something?”
“Only for a minute - you’re being nice, aren’t you?”
“Well I don’t know if I’d go that far…”
“I can’t believe this, God - I was talking about this just the other day…”
Harris was genuinely puzzled.
“Do you want to clue me in here because you seem to know what’s going on and I feel as if I just walked in on the middle of some Fellini film!”
Joanna turned to him, “This is as close as I get to believing the impossible, because I would never have conceived I would ever utter these words to you… and I mean ever - ‘last humans on the face of the earth scenario’ included. Okay - I want you to stay with me tonight, Harris, us - together, intimacy, sex. I want to know if you’re …for real.”
Harris was genuinely taken aback and the multi levels of irony kicked in hard, this had been a very strange seven days… it actually made him smile and then laugh a little.
“I don’t get it?” he said with a laugh.
“Simple - I want…”
“No, you’re missing it - the earth hasn’t opened up and swallowed us, so this isn’t simply some deranged nightmare. You can’t possibly be serious!”
“As a heart attack! I am asking you, probably, because I have absolutely no emotional interest in you whatsoever, but if you believe what you said then you’ll probably manage to fuck me without puking up… and, aside from not wanting to be alone tonight, I cannot remember what even bad sex is like at this point!”
“Gee, you’re really seducing me with that well practised flattery and silver tongued, sweet talk!”
“Actually, Harris… maybe just silver tongued!” she said with a tiny laugh but he noticed her hands were shaking, just a little.
“Well, I have had my hands down your pants before so I suppose I am a good benchmark for you to calibrate whatever data that’s going to be spawned by this demented notion.”
“A simple yes or no would do, Harris!” she said looking a lot more tense than she sounded.
“I’m going to have to take this bottle of vodka with us, purely for medicinal purposes!”
“Don’t worry - I’m not going to throw you out as soon as I’m done with you, you can stay long enough to sober up… whereas I’ll have to keep drinking to block the horror out!”
“Gosh, I can feel a hint of wood growing down there.” he said, almost straight-faced. “Shall we go then, Darling?”
“With the most baited of breath, my dear!” came the more relaxed response.
Harris’s world just kept getting stranger and stranger!

PRINCE’S GARDENS, HYNDLAND : 2.43 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
It was a pleasant flat that occupied an entire side of the upper building. The pale blue walls were high and a mere backdrop for a half dozen abstracts that were in perfect pitch to the post modernistic furniture centred around the large white marble fireplace. From the front room the panorama looked out into the private terraced gardens, now sprinkled with the light dust of whiteness, and beyond the twinkling lights of Hyndland’s private suburbia liberally glittering with the hundreds of tiny coloured lights that only manifested at Christmas time. Harris gazed out sipping from the large glass of vodka and fresh orange - he loved city lights glistening in the dark. The stereo was discretely intrusive, already halfway through playing ‘Drive in Saturday’ from ‘Aladdin Sane’ making Harris tingle with an uncanny, esoteric shiver. It was a strange place to have ended up.
Joanna came in from the large bedroom at the rear which looked across an enormous vista comprising Hyndland, Partick and the Docks. She too had a drink in her hand and a cigarette in the other. There was a warm smile on her face as she stood beside Harris, leaning gently against him.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” she asked softly.
“It’s a lovely view,” he responded, “inside and out!”
Her head turned to him and a sharp barb was already primed but she saw he wasn’t being cute or charming for once. Her large mouth spread into a coy grin and she nudged him with a gentle bump before drawing on her Consulate cigarette again.
“I’ve put the fire on in the bedroom and clean sheets on the bed.” she said with a relaxed tone that made Harris feel they had done all this a million times before.
“Sorry, I’m vagued out here and you’re slaving away. You should have said, Joanna, and I’d have given you a hand - sorry!”
Joanna smiled. “Don’t be silly, it’s fine… Anyway, I didn’t know that you were a domesticated animal, Jonn.”
He laughed and looked into her eyes. “You have to be able to take care of yourself before you can look out for someone else! According to my father, who’s not known for being wrong.”
‘Panic in Detroit’ sounded very different on this stereo, it was much more middle and lower end equalisation than the way he listened to music. Harris emptied his glass and continued to stare out the window noticing Joanna’s ‘Rive Gauche’ perfume was freshly reapplied.
“You smell nice, Joanna!”
She sat back and lent against the window to look at him.
“You don’t seem to miss much do you? A quick freshen up and your radar sense just picks it up like that, you could make someone a good boyfriend one day… can you tell what shampoo I use?”
Harris smiled widely and sniffed at her neatly brushed, chestnut mane. “Vo5?”
“Was that a lucky guess? God, I’ll be paranoid now - thinking you can detect every chemical I’ve ever used!”
“Actually, you’ve always smelt really nice - even when you were just a sweaty little girl in a very tiny Gymslip, sitting on Dave’s bureau.”
“Oh, don’t remind me, Harris!”
“Are you kidding, all the guys used to talk about Dave’s big sister - you more so than Julie because you were always much more… risqué, sexy even!”
“You don’t need to charm me, Harris - we’re going to sleep together!” Joanna smiled, but without the usual sharpness that epitomised her normal conversation.
“I switched my charm off when we got out the car. You were a hot little teenie who became a hot woman. I think you were Sto’s first fantasy.”
Joanna’s large mouth grinned widely to reveal her mass of white teeth. “Did I want to know that?”
“Well, now you do!”
“Want another drink, Jonn?”
“I’ll get them, give me your glass, please. The kitchen’s on the left isn’t it?”
She smiled and nodded, watching his shape as he left the room. It was the type of body she liked and he really wasn’t the same wild, loudmouth she used to think of him as, but neither was he docile - just a lot more sensitive and adult than she had realised. That type of thinking was going to lead her astray - and that wasn’t what this was about… but it certainly helped her make the craziest move of her life.
Joanna flipped the other side of Aladdin Sane over before he returned. Harris handed the glass across and stared at her. Joanna had big eyes and a large mouth in the most attractive manner conceivable. Her thin polo neck hugged the fit frame beneath, revealing the tiny waist and ample, well rounded breasts she used to flaunt when he was hardly a teenager. He liked the fact she didn’t have big hips, they were shapely and in proportion to a well rounded but pert bottom. Even as a kid he’d found her attractive and the idea that they would ever have sex was so inconceivable he still harboured doubts about his sanity at this moment. What wasn’t in doubt was he found her appealing and the perversity of all this was as exciting as it was disconcerting.
“I brought your cigarettes as well.” he said removing them from his open waistcoat pocket and placing them in her hand.
Joanna smiled sweetly but said nothing. Her instincts told her to be sarcastic and witty but everything he did made her want to kiss him - had she drunk too much already?
“This is pretty weird, Joanna.”
“Look, Harris, I’m not going to put a gun to your head. It’s absolutely the craziest thing I’ve ever thought of - never mind done. We don’t have to do this - I won’t sue you for ‘Breach of Promise’!”
Harris took a long swallow and knelt by where she was sitting, placing his hands on her thighs.
“That was not what I meant - you’re making the rules and calling the shots, so whatever you say goes as far as I’m concerned. If I back off or don’t want to do something I’m pretty capable of saying it loud and clear!”
Joanna looked at him with an intense stare and leaned forward to softly run her hand through his long brown hair. There was something she wanted to say but simply didn’t.
“Actually, Joanna, what I meant was... this is weird because usually I’d know what the girl I’m with wants. All the little signals that you pick up, when to kiss, when to touch, where and how to caress. This is flying blind for me - and from your reaction I hope you see what I mean. The last thing I want to do is upset you. I’m not here because I said something and am too spineless to admit it was merely some half arsed platitude - I believe the things I say and do exactly what I say because I really have to believe in it, just to voice it. You didn’t shame me into this - I chose to be here because I want to spend the night with you and frankly I’m appalled you should feel the way you do because of a hideous twist of fate. So it’s easy for me to know what I think about it all - but as far as your side goes… I have no idea, not even how we initiate proceedings - and that’s weird for me!”
“Harris, why can’t you just be the shit everyone believes you are - that way I wouldn’t be looking at you and thinking how handsome you look, how considerate you’ve clearly become, how I just wanted to… kiss you a moment ago. I didn’t think I’d feel anything like this. You make yourself out as a real hard-nosed piece of work and tonight I can see none of that’s true - it’s just armour!”
He looked down, drank deeply from the glass and only looked up as he felt her moving forward a little to stroke his hair again.
“Some of it is armour, Joanna, but I’m capable of some really diabolical acts. No-one knows the things I’ve done and completely without conscience! I’m not what I seem on any level. For every nice, decent aspect of my personality there is an equally dark facet screaming to get out. I always poison the things I touch, whether I mean to or not - I can change people, influence them, make them see things they thought weren’t there. It might sound stupid, but I think that type of ability needs to be handled responsibly… and that means never losing control or letting anything precious get so close it could be damaged or altered forever. I’m not as bad as I appear but I’m not as nice as I sometimes seem either.”
Joanna was absolutely astounded. “You can’t think of yourself that way, surely? I like you Harris and all your friends damn near idolise you in private… we’re not all wrong, are we?”
Harris’s brow furrowed as he looked up at her in silence but with an expression that chilled her.
“I don’t give a damn if it is true,Harris, I want to be close to you tonight and I don’t care about the consequences - there are no rules, you can do what you want and if I don’t like it… I’ll say so, and obviously vice versa, but this has to be a once in a lifetime thing that I’d prefer you didn’t mention to anyone… and not because I’d be ashamed to have been with you, but because it’d throw up too many problems for us both. Is that okay?”
He smiled and nodded in affirmation. “So we can try the thing with the three nuns, the grand piano, the ‘Mars’ bars and Guatemalan pygmies?”
Joanna laughed aloud as she felt the tension dissipate. “Trust me, you won’t need any assistants, Harris… I think you’ll find I can accommodate your pleasures by myself and without help - one way or another!”
“He shoots and he scoooooooores!” Harris shouted.
“Time for another drink for you, Mr Harris.”
He watched her pretty bottom wiggling in the tight dress as she took the glasses out to be refilled.
“Get your eyes off my arse, Harris!” she shouted back, without turning round.
And that made him laugh.

PRINCE’S GARDENS, HYNDLAND : 3.18 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
Her favourite Neil Young album, ‘After the Goldrush’, was halfway through ‘Only Love Can Break Your Heart’ as they sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace, the radiant glow of the artificial coal was now the only source of light within the room and it turned their drinks a ruddy orange as they sat on the table.
“So it was true?” he asked with some surprise.
Joanna looked down with embarrassment and shook her head. “Yes, God forgive me, but only twice!”
“And I missed it - shit! Sto was right after all.. well that accounts for the fantasies, doesn’t it?”
“Ohmygod… Sto saw it, me or whatever, in my natural glory?”
“Yeah, and bear in mind it was his first year here, in fact within his first six months, and I’d been coming to the house for over three years at that point. Damn! I’d like to have seen that!”
“Oh, you dirty little tyke!” she said pushing him over and playfully slapping his shoulder.
Harris grabbed her waist and began to tickle her, the little polo
neck’s hem slipping up her body. Joanna was clawing at him but the more she giggled the less efficiently she could attack until she was a wriggling mass pressing down on him as he laughed.
He was still laughing when he looked in her eyes and was reminded of how pretty she was, his fingers stopped tickling and started to touch her skin with fingertips that almost hovered. Joanna was still breathing hard and becoming silent in the afterglow of her dying laughter. Little orange lights danced, reflected in their eyes - almost hypnotising one another. Harris’s fingers slipped far under the top and up her back, running over her bra until his hands embraced her shoulder blades to press her to him.
Joanna’s mouth was open before it met Harris’s, she was surprised by how passionately she was kissing him but it felt really good, like falling into velvet.
In turn, he was quite unconscious of how his body responded, making tiny, soft pelvic motions against her while his hands touched her back and shoulders, down her ribs and over the firmness of her buttocks. They were moaning into each other’s mouth as they kissed with a fiery intensity pressing hard against one another. Harris’s fingers reached under to touch the skin beneath her bra and she suddenly pulled back from him, eyes wide open.
“Jonn - I really want to go to bed with you, really badly, But there’s one thing… God, I don’t want to take my pants off until we’re in bed… is that okay? ...And, oh great, they’re really big and horrible, but they…”
Harris kissed her briefly and then stared into her eyes.
“Just means I get to peel them off you in bed… and you taste really nice, the cigarette thing, because I can really taste it and it’s kind of… sexy!” he said with a little laugh that captivated her.
“God, I’m sorry… but now I really do want you and I feel so nervous about it all - no, just about my scars. I couldn’t take it if you looked and didn’t want to… be with me! I just want you to, no… don’t stop doing that, please - I just want you to think for a minute because once we go to the bedroom and undress each other… I have to know you’ll still want to sleep with me and I have to know before I go in.”
The fingers of his left hand ran under the perimeters of her bra and
he gazed up with raised brows, “You should already know.”
“Hang on, Jonn, wait - I want you to know I won’t be angry if you decide you don’t want to do this now for whatever reason. I’ve enjoyed being with you and like feeling this horny for… someone! Okay?” she said just before she kissed him.
Harris smiled as he was left with her taste in his mouth while Joanna moved her head back and waited for him to answer.
“I really want to spend the night with you, Joanna, actually I’m appalled at how much I want to have sex with you and I get the shyness, but… just so long as you know - I want to stay and see you naked because I really don’t give a micro fuck about your scars in that way. It could look like leftovers from Frankenstein’s monster and I would still want to sleep with you as much as I do right now!”
There was only a short pause before she kissed him and felt the tiny ripple pass through her.
Throwing her hair back she grinned and flicked her eyebrows.
“I’m glad! Hmmm, not really a big enough word for it, actually! Let’s go to bed, Jonn.”
Harris pushed her back gently and rolled away so he could stand up in front of her, the fireplace backlighting him. He removed his waistcoat, shoes and socks before he began to unbutton his shirt.
“What are you doing?” Joanna said, making no movement but watching him undress.
She looked at him, he was very slim, lean with a tiny, thin waist spreading in an even ‘v’ to his very defined shoulders, as he began to unbutton his trousers.
“Jonn, you don’t have to do… actually… you don’t have to stop is what I mean and you don’t have underwear - well, that’s… oh my, eh, well, that’s a nice surprise, I…”
Harris stood before her naked and lent forward to take her hands and make her stand before him. He ran his hands over her then lifted her jumper up as she automatically raised her arms and tossed her hair as the top was discarded. The little transparent gold, Gossard bra cradled and exposed her full and attractively rounded breasts, Harris smiled into her eyes as he leaned round and breathed in her scent again as he unfastened its clip and she shrugged until it fell forward to fall on the floor between them. He knelt down and began to unbutton the remaining fastenings on her long, tight skirt until only the waist button held the garment to her and then it too fell away behind her, leaving only the large white Sloggi pants. Joanna had long and shapely legs, slim hips and gorgeous, tight buttocks like those expected on a runner - she had a surprisingly good body. The air gave a little ripple as she shivered when Harris slowly began to drag her underwear down and past her hips until they dropped to the floor and she lifted her feet from them.
The little tangle of scars was about an inch or so above her tidy mass of dark pubic hair and running about an inch or so high and three inches wide like a greater than sign made of rounded, malformed scar tissue. Harris was still kneeling as he closely inspected the damage while Joanna unconsciously wrapped her arms around her breasts, apprehensively looking down at him. He held her hips and moved his face forward to her belly, the heat of his breath suddenly feeling very sexy to her. His lips touched her flesh, lightly kissing the rounded scars and letting his tongue follow the trace of the little criss cross of depressions whilst his hands moved back to stroke her buttocks and press her forward. He only terminated his kiss when she finally stopped tensing and then he playfully let his tongue drag down through her pubic hair to teasingly flick down the entire length of her genitalia, peeling her open and tasting her abundant lubrication. Joanna quivered and made a little moan before he finished his tease and slowly stood up before her.
She stood nodding at him, dying to make a sharp comment about putting your money where your… but resisted the urge as she found her gaze being brought back to his hip level again and again.
“Hey, Joanna, I’m up here!” Harris said emphatically and sarcastically.
“Yeah, well, I’ve made my choice!” she replied as he bent forward, lifted her up and padded out to the bedroom feeling her arms slip round his neck as he negotiated the half opened room door and stopped before the bed, the warmth of the room engulfing them.
Joanna had placed a dozen tiny candle lights all around the warm room, dimly and quite atmospherically illuminating the large bed and its turned down duvet. The opened curtains looked out to swaying branches and the panoramic view of the lower West End which was now a beautiful vista of white architecture and twinkling lights.
“It’s kind of romantic, actually!” Harris smiled as he placed her naked body on the bed.
Joanna wriggled about and then slipped into the cool sheets before she moved to the side, leaving the space he should occupy.
“You think?”
“Naaaah!” he laughed, climbing in beside her and feeling their limbs almost immediately intertwine like one and their lips eagerly sealing them hermetically as the little lights cast their dancing shadows on the wall in the erotic, near silence.
Half a city away, the after party was raging on and the revellers were, predominantly, indulging in a more traditional form of dance - Harris knew where he preferred to be!

PRINCE’S GARDENS, HYNDLAND : 10.52 am - CHRISTMAS EVE
“God, Jonn, this bed is a total mess - you’re everywhere, all over it!”
“Actually, lots of that’s you” Harris replied running his hands over her perky nipples down her belly and letting his fingers rake through her hair.
Joanna snaked her arm round his neck and easily drew him towards her. “You shouldn’t have kept me up all night and made me so fucking wet then, should you? Owww, sore! Mmmm, nice… and that’s very niii-iiice. God, can you imagine what they’d all think if they saw us now?”
“Well, an eight by ten of you on all fours with your little buttocks pointing into the air would be bad enough but if anybody heard your language they’d be totally appalled - I’ve only heard of the terrible girls who talk like that, but it really would have made a great party piece for your parents’ Christmas dinner!”
Looking into his face she was momentarily impassive and almost distant.
“Dad might have wanted to join in!” Joanna said without humour.
Harris stopped running fingers up and down her genitalia.
“Not you - you’re not telling me that…?”
“No, not me and not anyone… that I can prove - but there was something weird about all that stuff with Susan. Shit, Jonn, you can’t mention this to anyone, please - I could never forgive you if this got out, especially if Dave thought something like this… I think he’d kill my father. I shouldn’t really have said anything because unfortunately I can’t prove it or change what happened so there’s not much point in trying to raise the dead.”
The brown eyes opposite stared into her own, her eyes never left his as she shook her head.
“Sorry, Jonn, it’s just one of the many things we can’t change… like me wishing I slept with you at Margo’s party that time. I know it wouldn’t have been like last night but it would always have been memorable in a good way! Did you know you were the cause of my first non solo orgasm? When we were kissing and grinding away in her parents bedroom… I’ve never forgotten it, actually!”
Harris let the bombshell go because she wanted him to, but it was filed away before she pressed her lips to his again.
Harris’s laughter broke the moment once again.
“What are you laughing at?” Joanna asked.
“Nothing… well, nothing really!” he replied.
“What?”
“I couldn’t, really!”
“Tell me!” she demanded grasping his genitals gently.
“Okay, careful with the family jewels, Bunny Girl!”
“I’m listening!”
“Well, that I’d be able to tell Rosser that it wasn’t true…”
“What wasn’t?”
“That dipping you would be like dipping Dave, except with tits!” he said collapsing into a ridiculous laughter jag.
“God! You hideous little shitheel! How could you even…”
Harris rolled over, pulled Joanna to him and kissed her.
“Nice!” she sighed as they parted.
“You’re probably a much better screw than Mack would’ve been!”
“You!” she laughed and kissed him again.
What started as a gentle peck became passionate as they lay on their sides, facing one another, and she began to rub against him like an echo of the past.
Joanna stroked Harris’s body as she half whispered. “I’m not done yet, have you had enough of me?”
With a little smile he pressed himself against her belly until she giggled. “Ooh! And clearly you’re not either… Happy Days!”

PRINCE’S GARDENS, HYNDLAND : 12.22 pm - CHRISTMAS EVE
It was almost time for Harris to leave and Joanna was still padding about in his wing collar shirt, leaving him to borrow one of her T-shirts just to allow him to get dressed and go to the shops earlier. Every time she stretched or moved to a particular angle she flashed Harris her mass of dark, tousled hair.
“God, Harris, you can’t still be ogling me, surely. You must have seen me from every angle and extremely unflattering position possible by now!”
Harris put down the can of Coke, leaned back on the sofa and smiled as she fluttered over.
“Joanna, you look great and have a truly amazing body, aside from possessing some seriously warped and disturbing skills… think it’d take a while until I got bored seeing it - and, as bizarre as it sounds… I very much like the fact that you have really beautiful genitalia.” he confessed.
“Coming from anyone else that would just sound weird, but not from you! You are so strange, no-one’s ever complimented or even said anything remotely like that to me before… admittedly I must confess it’s going to take me a while to forget your bits, but I’m a normal, well balanced individual and you’re… well, not!”
She climbed onto the sofa and rested her head on his lap, smiling up at him. Harris unbuttoned his shirt from her and peeled the sides open to look at her nudity while she wriggled her hips, rubbing her thighs together in a strange little pleasure as she unexpectedly revelled in the way he looked at her.
“I’ve had a lovely time, Jonn, truly wonderful - thanks, I didn’t think I’d have so much fun with you. You’re really… really good, it was quite an unforgettable night, all in all. Thank you!”
“No,” he replied seriously, “thank you!”
Joanna stretched up and pulled him forward so she could give him a long deep kiss that left her nipples standing up from her breasts with a rock hardness Harris found visually irresistible.
“Harris, I’m up here, you don’t see me staring at your bits… well, maybe before but not so much after you get dressed!”
He leaned forward and whispered into her ear.
Her eyes looked into his with a deep examination.
“You’re just taking the piss again, I don’t believe you!”
He straight faced mimed crossing his heart and she was instantly silenced for some moments, her eyes clouding up a little.
“That’s the loveliest compliment anyone’s ever given me!”
“Yeah, well - you should probably get out more!”
The quip brought her back from the brief wave of surprising emotion. A mischievous smile played over her lips as her left hand rubbed between her legs while she stared up to Harris.
“Do you have to go?” she asked him as her fingertips disappeared for a second, making her eyelids flicker before she raised her self dampened fingers and rubbed the opaque wetness onto his lips. “If you stayed you could take me home tonight and just spend the day in bed with me, watching crap Christmas films, eating junk and messing up my insides more than you’ve already done?”
Harris laughed and stroked her belly as he licked the taste of her from his lips.
“So I don’t have to end up pleading to spend some more time with you? God, you are so easy, I thought I was going to have to beg and cry!”
“That’ll come later, Harris!”
“Do I get my vintage shirt back if I stay?”
Joanna shook her head on his crotch, deliberately teasing.
“But you get to play Swallows with me for as long as you like…”
Harris laughed suspiciously. “You are so very fucked up!”
“Not yet, but we’ve still got lots of time!”

HELLENFORD : 7.57 pm - CHRISTMAS EVE
Harris pulled over a couple of houses from the Macklin residence and killed the engine. Eno’s ‘Becalmed’ was playing discretely as they sat looking at the vaguely white world around them reflecting the deep blue of the night sky. All was quiet in the near distance and not a figure stirred as if they were the last people left on earth.
Joanna was still wearing his shirt, deliberately leaving it only half buttoned to let him see her breasts every time he frequently looked over at her on the way home.
They sat silently for a couple of minutes, just letting the lush audio landscape wash over them. Finally they turned to one another.
“Well, time for you to go back to the ice house, I suppose?” he sighed.
“Yup, playtime’s over for me, Harris!”
“So - checklist… No more big pants?”
“Gone - gone - gone!”
“You’ll phone Rick for Christmas?”
“The number’s tattooed on my retina!”
“And you’ll do penance for spoiling me for all other women now because they’ll just be abysmally pale impersonations of you?”
“Okay, maybe that’s a step too far, Harris! You’re really milking it now - my penance will be trying to sit down properly over the next few days, so you’re still going to be with me for a while in some uncomfortable sense… in fact, some of you is still very much with me right now!”
Harris laughed a natural, almost embarrassed, chuckle that only faded when he found her eyes locking his. Joanna nodded for him to lean over to her so she could kiss him, taking his hand and slipping it into the half opened shirt. Harris gently mapped the flesh out in his fingers as she sighed into his mouth until they broke apart from one another in silence.
“Do I have to say, if a word of this ever gets out…”
“Only if you want to hear the sound of your own voice, yet again, Joanna!”
“Because if you ever breathe a word I’ll use almost two years of Medical School experience to dissect you!”
“Listen, I’d let you, because I’d sooner be dead than live with the embarrassment of anyone knowing I’ve been with…well, you!”
“Nice, Harris, back to the level of class and affection we have all come to associate with you.” she said buttoning herself up and comporting her apparel.
“I thought so too.” he smirked.
“I just hope my father or David don’t see this!”
She grabbed him unexpectedly and gave him a really slow, passionate kiss as she ran her hands over his crotch with a lingering caress he clearly responded to.
“Okay, Harris, that’s me absolutely done with you now!”
“Oh, thank God, I thought this torture would never end.”
“Join the club! Thanks for the lift and just remember…don’t call me, I’ll call you!”
“I won’t be holding my breath.”
Joanna stepped out the car, dragging her little overnight holdall with her. She stared into the car pensively as he stared back, pausing for a few moments in tandem with a tiny smile, nodded her head and closed the door over gently.
Harris watched her walk about thirty feet before he opened the window and called out, “Hey!”. He was tempted to tell her to look in her holdall for the little present he had purchased for her when he was out that morning, but decided it would be more entertaining when she found it for herself.
Joanna, stopped, dropped the bag and turned around with her hands on her hips.
“Have a lovely Christmas, Bunny Girl!” he called to her.
The girl pointed as if mimicking a gun at him. “You too, Cutie!”
And then she slowly walked on to her home without looking back as the snow began to fall again.